Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Relationships

I was just about to go to sleep when this song https://youtu.be/xkR_uIHhsqM came on the radio. My eyes that were ready to rest popped open and my ears, like a giant radar, picked up on every word and every line of that song. The story in that song hits home for me. 
Just a fool. Is that what I am? Maybe. 
When I first knew of his existence, I had no real idea of who he really was. To me, he was just a voice I heard on the radio which had pulled me like magnet. A voice I had fallen in love with. At that point, I didn't even know his real name or what he looked like. It didn't matter to me. All that mattered was his voice. 
Years later, through a twist of fate, our paths crossed. We met at a club when I went to visit an old friend who was deejaying at the club. That friend turns out to be a mutual friend of he and I. That night, I learned he too deejays at that club. 
To cut a long story short, after that brief encounter that night, he and I hooked up. Like all new acquaintances, we spent time getting to know each other. We spoke and texted each other daily and pretty soon, feelings developed between us. 
Back then, he was a radio deejay in the day and a club deejay at night. He was living it up in the fast lane. I used to go to the clubs a lot to spend time with him and I noticed the string of female admirers he had. They would come to the club just to see him, to flirt with him, and some even came in hopes they would get lucky with him, if you know what I mean. Being in the limelight, admiration and attention comes with the territory. I understood that perfectly even though at times I did feel a teeny bit insecure. But he always reassured me. He would make it very obvious to all his female admirers that he was with me. The nights when I don't go to the club, he would call me as soon as he finished work to tell me that he'd be driving by my house. It would be late and he didn't expect me to come out to meet him in that wee hours of the morning. To him, just seeing my house, driving by it was enough to make him feel near to me. I would stand by the window to catch a glimpse of him driving by. We were crazy about each other. 
Years went by, life took over, and we found ourselves drifted apart. I was busy with work and my own things and he was busy with work and his own things. Somewhere along the way, fame got to his head. He had hangers on by the bus loads, he had women throwing themselves at his feet, and in that whole scenario, he lost himself. 
A few years ago, again through some twist of fate, he and I reconnected. In many ways, he was still the same guy I fell in love with. He still treated me with the same kind of love and that love, it still reflected in his eyes each time he looked at me. But something had changed. 
"You know I'm dating a bunch of girls, right?" he blurted out to me one night. 
I was stunned for a moment. Such arrogance. Not wanting to kick up a fuss, I replied, "That's stale news. Tell me something new." 
Truth is, I was pretty shaken by his unexpected admission. I began to watch him from afar, making sure I kept a safe distance. I watched him flaunt girl after girl in social media, in public and his behaviour was really obnoxious. He seemed so full of himself, so cocky and arrogant. He was at the top of his game. His career was going great, he was rolling in money, he had his own fan club, he had his harem of women. In his mind he was King. And in my heart, I was still in love with him. Just a fool...?  Maybe. 
I continued to watch him from afar. Truth is, I was worried for him. In his state of bliss and euphoria, he was getting careless and reckless. The choices he made, the actions he took, it was foolhardy to say the least. I was worried that he would fall. I stayed in the background and continued to watch. I made a vow to myself that I would be there for him should he fall. I would be the person in his corner when the rest of the world turn their backs on him. 
Today, the thing I feared most had happened. He had fallen. He fell flat on his face and he fell hard. He had lost it all - his career, his house, his money, his fans, his friends, his family, his dignity. The only thing he hasn't lost is me. And my love for him. Despite all the pain he's put me through, I am still very much in love with him. 
Just a fool? What do you think?