Category : Stories

Sub Category : Drama

I wake up in the morning after a heavy battle the night before. I may have lost some ground yet I am stubborn with control. I brush off the dust and count the casualties. Hopefully I didn't lose more than I bargained for. 
The night that seemed so cold and lonesome when I went to bed turns into a morning of opportunities to grow. Peacetime and a whole lot of love spent lies at the back of my mind, cuddled up with the pillows of support and affection that seems so alien today. I know that room in the back of my conscience is a safe room against the world and all the hurt people gave me. I wonder, as I stare into my eyes through the mirror, what was it about the pain that I once craved? Was the cocoon of unreality keeping me safe from the way I would behave? I rub away the sleep from my eyes and to myself, I say....
"Enough of being this way, no more burning nights. No more firing houses and burning bridges out of spite. No more shivering body when the cold seems to wrap me tight. No more feeling lost when things could have been alright. No more lashing out when those around couldn't handle the blight. No more depending on love to keep me warm at night. No more guns at my hip with barrels bright. No more wondering why when the end is in sight. No more waking in a cold sweat with dreams of fright. No more demons of trauma hiding behind the night light. No more losing myself in a fight."
The day goes long and contrite only if I let it. Today, I shall walk as I should - tall and proud. When the parley is called, I will give my best shot and tell the truth as it is. I will explain the bombing runs were in defence, not to cause harmful ends. I will tell them all my life I've been trying my best. They may say it's worse than it seems. I will ask them if their decision is final, and if it is, then I would learn to unlove the comfort of bliss. I will step back, take a bow and make my amends. I will smile them off as they fly off on the winds. There is nothing more than to rebuild what was to what is, and I am all I need to be at peace.
Sometimes, parley leaves me feeling destroyed. It's unfair at times, but only if my logic is left unemployed. Life goes on, wars are lost and won by the virtue of Choice.
Today, I will open my heart and see there's a world out there for me to explore. And just because they won't be there with me, it ain't so tragic after all.