Category : Books-Fiction
Sub Category : Drama
THE BASICS OF HER LIFE
Charlotte Violet Main was born on October 24 and was left at the hospital abandoned.She was adopted by a family consisting of a woman named Lillian Alisia Hale, a man named Jackson Mark Hale, and a little girl 3 years older than Charlie named Halie Abbigale Hale. Charlie and Halie didn't get along that well Halie acted like a princess and was very girly and loud, Charlie was quiet and shy she also was accelerating in all topics. Lillian and Jackson were all for work and were rich so they didn't pay attention to there kids that much. They also gave Halie everything and if Charlie wanted something she had to work hard for it. When Charlie was five she started kindergarten they soon realised she was really smart for her age so they put her in a grade obove. She still acceled in it all but they knew it would be hard for her if she is always with people older than her so they just had her stay in one grade obove. She was bullied because of it. This was very hard for her. She has one friend that has stayed with her for a long time his name is Phillip Bowie Jason he was a very supportive friend. They were the best of friends. When she started middle school everything got worse. People bullied more and her best friend Phil was killed in a car crash and she was in the car with him she broke her arm. She would have died if Phil didn't switch seats with her because she wanted to sit in the left seat because the right seat was uncomfortable so she is never greedy about anything any more.
Authors Note:
Please comment or just review my story I want feedback so I can get better at the things I need to improve . also her is a little quote to get you thinking "There is always a secret behind the original story"
Comments
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Welp sure. The word is ‘excelled’ not ‘acceled’, and you could’ve started with Charlie being abandoned at the hospital without talking about her being born there, for emotional impact. So her adoptive parents doted on her sister more? Make it obvious that they are selfish parents who thought of Charlie as less of their daughter than Halie, and write out situations where they bought Halie more clothes or something on her whim, while Charlie had to really work for it, and sometimes don’t even succeed even if she tried, to bring out her struggle. How was she abused in school? Do people stuff old moldy food in her locker? Do they make fun of her? I know you said they abused her because she skipped a grade, but was it because of jealousy of her good grades, because they treat her as a ‘nerd’, or because she’s lonely and isolated and an easy target? Yup and how close was she with her best friend? How did they meet? Do they have similar hobbies or the guy was also adopted and suffered badly so they connected (example)? Lastly, emotions emotions! Talk about how she felt when she was adopted, bullied in school and maybe felt depressed about it, how her best friend’s death might’ve made her feel even more hopeless and think that the world was unfair that people like Halie could get everything, and her best friend died at a young age. And how these experiences shaped her character, does she get cold and heartless? Or have great insecurity because she thinks that she is born with bad luck, such that it made her best friend die, that she avoids talking to people and making friends? Super long comment, sorry, but hope it helps...?
Jun 16, 2018