Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I don't want to be negative.
Can't you see that I'm trying to be a new person with all my inner healing? I no longer want to be that person that held in so much anger and resentment for so long,nor do I wish to be that person who holds blame within my heart. 
I don't wish to be depressed because I made decisions that led to the reasons why I have PTSD and little trust in others.. I don't want to think about suicide!I just want to feel normal again. 
But as my sister-the one who noticed all my mistakes and all of my bad times,you do nothing but make me feel low..make me feel like I'm close to nothing every year and I can't take it anymore because I'm tired of experiencing the hurt from your cold shoulder. Do I let you go and give up on repairing our relationship?or do I continue and keep taking on that pain? How much do you expect me to be able to bear? Why can't you see that I've gotten better?that I'm finally doing better than I was? When will you see that I was in a flash dark period in my life and I just needed help escaping that darkness-but instead of taking my hand you kept me down! I don't want to keep feeling like this. 
Maybe it's time to let go because I refuse to go back to feeling like I'm nothing.