Your Demon Read Count : 145

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
Hi, my name is Daniella and I do have depression. This is about the struggles and your demon. This is how I view depression and this might not how you feel. This is a warning it gets very dark, so if you don't like that stuff then I recommend you leave. Thank you enjoy.
        You start fine, happy as can be then as you get older happiness is harder to achieve. You wake in the morning with the thoughts of past mistakes, feeling like your falling into a deep rabbit hole. While others feel like their floating on a cloud while sleeping, you feel like your getting stabbed over and over again. All the sudden you look over and see a dark figure staring, watching, waiting. Don't be scared don't look  it in the eyes because that's you. All your anxiety built up to make an evil dark being. It controls apart of your brain it turns a lever telling you to go into a panic attack. It leaves those thoughts about death in your mind. It causes you to feel like your getting stabbed while sleeping.
      It turns the lever telling you to hurt yourself. Once you turn into your demon you walk around like a zombie. Dark circles under your eyes and bandages covering your wrists. It doesn't cause you pain people around you do. Something so little can easily fuck up the mind. Our Minds are dark places. Our demon can cause us a lot but it isn't the cause of our source of pain. It wasn't born with us it was created over time.
      I had this thought once.
" If I were to die everything would stop, my eyes would stop seeing these hands, it would just pause and never be played again.". That's a much scarier thought than you think. It doesn't look like it huh? But when you really look at it if you really think hard about it you can just imagine how scary it would be for your life to just pause and never play again. It gets to you a little bit, right? I feel lonely and I am, but I always have one being to count on and that's my demon I know it won't ever leave like other people do. I tried to get help, but I found out help is much harder to get than you think. You can't tell them everything completely or they will think your crazy. If you tell your friends well they will get tired of it after a while and leave. No worries though we still have our demons even if we have no one we will still have it. We might not all want our demon I know I don't but just know you're never fully alone even an empty room it still lingers and hides in the darkest corner of our minds. Now that's something to think about.
       Thank you for reading sorry if this was a little hard to follow it was very hard to explain. I hope so much you don't hurt yourself and that you know you're loved. Do get help if needed 

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  • May 21, 2018

  • May 22, 2018

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