Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I lay in bed at night and find my mind to wander. I don’t know what sleep feels like anymore. Tossing, turning, kicking blankets off. What’s in my head? Why can’t I sleep? Should I take a pill just to aid my sleep troubles? Do I need to go outside and grab a cigarette, like good old times? Now I feel like their is a frog in my throat. Maybe something I ate didn’t agree with me so now I lie here awake, thinking of 2 things at once and just watching my brain switch its gears. I’m comfy where I am, the bed isn’t to hot, isn’t to cold. I have 1 leg out of the covers. I don’t care about monsters and the more I think about it, the more the gears change and I’m afraid something will snatch me in the night. I lie awake... wishing I was in another life. This isn’t what I was told, I never signed up for this. I need a way out without looking like the “Bad Guy”. Sleep is important yet I can’t find it. I lie here closing my eyes, only to find them open again in a few minutes. What is it that I crave? What is it that I am lacking in life... why can’t I just be.... All of this is just clashing together like when a band plays for the first time. No one knows their place, what to play and how to play. You just start to see how bad it really is. Over thinking isn’t something I was taught, it just happened and now here I am lying awake with a wandering mind thinking 2 things at once. Not being able to sleep or even remotely try to.