Category : Stories
Sub Category : Romance
"So, this is it. We have one more chance to do this, you ready?" Asked Mia. "Always" answered Lucie. Both women positioned themselves in comfortable spaces and began the timer on the Hourglass. Out of thin air appeared a Angel and Devil and both women needed to cling on to one within 30 Seconds. Mia reached for the Devil and clung on for dear life, whereas Lucie went for the Angel and again clung on. The two entities brought both women closer to each other and then disappeared. Mia and Lucie then saw each other in a different light and embraced. However, Mia had the Devil inside her head urging her to let go. She resisted his attempt to control her with a long struggle. Lucie, on the other hand had the Angel urging her to kiss her. Lucie successfully gave in and kissed Mia on her lips. The Angel and Devil reappeared and looked at each other and said "We did good". Mia, taken aback by the sudden shock of the kiss decided to hug Lucie back, kissed her cheek and said "I'll always love you, remember that". Mia then left Lucie to go to Work. "Don't go" sobbed Lucie, "I'll be home at 3pm. See you then" replied Mia. The End Hope you enjoyed this short story. Feel free to rate and comment.
Comments
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i did not feel there was a message here. what was the hurdle? was it to resist homosexual urges? why? if that was the hurdle and they failed to overcome it why was she doing this so close to needing to go to work. and if they live together and are in love then why are they resisting in the first place. this is poorly thought out and i feel i have wasted my time reading this, it is unlikely i will read more of your writing until i believe you are putting more thought into it.
May 24, 2018
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Ramaya Lewis
Need more details in the story like, "What was the reason for them to do that?" and "Why did they choose to do that?" And by the end of the story, the angel and the devil seemed as if they were working together. I would have liked to know if they had some past encounters with each other. Also, you need more details on the characters' feelings. Like what were Lucie and Mia feeling for each other. We need more details on their relationship. This would have made a good story if some of the things I listed were used.
Jun 10, 2018