Category : Books-Non-Fiction

Sub Category : Biography

My name is Allison Dunsley. I am currently 12 year of age and feel as if I am an experienced writer. Most of my friends say that my writing is Marvelous or really well planned out even though it takes me less than a couple of days. Anyways on to the actual book.😊

    I am Allison Dunsley born in the hospital at 3:41 P.M. on May 11, 2006 this makes me 12 years old as of 2 days ago. I was born a big baby with lots of untamed hair. I don't remember much of my little life. I lived in a small house in Independence Missouri for Five years until my big butt of a sister came along. After my sister we lived in a much bigger house in Blue Spring and I still live in that house today. When I was 10 I over heard my mom talking to my dad on the phone. I remember her exact words, which were "When are you picking up the bed, Neil." Even though that was 2 years ago I was oblivious to the fact my dad was moving out. I walked up to my mom and asked why he was picking up a bed a d where? Alli remember before I ran to my room was "We are splitting, or getting a divorce... " I hated crying it made me feel weak especially when I am playing softball which I cried when I realized they put me in it at age 5, now I love it. I hated getting hit with a ball, it stung like a beach but I never cried. So instead of crying I stood the dumb shocked. I then ,finally, walked up into my room slammed the door shut and rested my back against the door bringing my knees up to my chest and holding them so tightly it hurt. 
    The next day I had school. I went tired and not wanting to do anything I nearly failed school until my probably most least supportive or the one who I THOUGHT was bad with emotions finally came into my life and told me it would be okay that I would still see them again, that is would still see BOTH of them again. He hugged me while I cried, I made him miss his whole recess just so he could hold me. We are not dating, no, and I would not want to date him for it would completely ruin my entire friendship with him. I got better that day I got off the bus laughing and nearly dying of happiness I didn't see my mom smiling back at me. I wish I did because now I will never see it again. Yes my mom died. My mom died in January 2018 I cried I broke so much stuff in my room I didn't know what else to do I screamed. I cried. I shouted and cursed every curse word known to man kind. I knew deep down in my dads heart he still loved my mom but he showed no emotion at all I would spend every second I could crying behind closed doors. I threw everything I ever had away. My friends. My family. I started sixth grade at age eleven. None of my friends knew why I was pushing them away. Why I wasn't eating. Why I was failing all my classes. Nome of them knew how it feels to feel like this. My mom I felt was the only person that ever cared about me. Her and my friend, David. But I threw them away. I know my mom's death is my fault. We were having a conversation about my dad I kept telling her I wanted to visit him but she kept saying no. She seemed so sad and so mad just like me when she died. Her answers would be plain and short like she had no care whatsoever. I had no idea of the battle she was battling in her brain. So I yelled and screamed the last words I ever spoke to her were 'I hate you' those were the last words I spoke to her before she killed herself.  It was all my fault. I still think it is. I barley sleep, I barley talk, I barley eat. My dad don't care, ever since my mom's death a he wants to do is drink. And drink. And keep drinking. I'm sorry but I have to say this to get it out but the first time I selfharmed was in February after my dad came home drunk I tried to care for him I tried to help him but all he would do was hit me. Tell me it was my fault. I absolutely hated him. I hated myself too... That's why I hurt myself. I deserved it I deserved every time he hit me every time he hurt me. 
      I would get teased at school for my looks the way my hair was never brushed the way my teeth were yellow. I would get teased for the way I talked which was according to them lower than I boy on drugs. I would get teased for my baggy, to loose shirt and pants, I wanted to tell them it was because I haven't eaten a full meal in more than a month. I also wore a lomg sleeved shirt to hide my scars my bruises my burn marks. Ever since 3rd grade my ELA grades have been As or Bs I absolutely adored writing. In 6th grade I competed in more than 5 writing competitions and won 2. I started writing more on an app called Wattpad then I found this. I write on both now. I never thought about killing myself but I did often hurt myself. Please don't be alarmed by this I am better even though it was just a few months I found a kind boy, Austin, and a nice girl, Seina to help me through it. Once they found out my dad hit me and I showed them the bruises they immediately called the police I stayed in there house with there mom and dad (yes, seina and Austin are brother and sister.) I found out I liked this person at school. Someone I never thought I would have. I liked. I liked Seina... I hated myself for this she was basically my sister... No. No. No. I fell back into my depressed state they both noticed and helped me strait away I even told Seina my feelings... She understood but I was still confused I didn't know if it was a sisterly love or a love love. So I kissed her. Nope. It was a bloody. Love, love. She was weirded out an I apologized stating I was just confused. I lied and said it was sisterly love. 
     I have had many bills in the road. And I am on my way to recovery. I know this all may seem fake but it's not my dad is in jail for child abuse and I am about to get adopted by my new family. I no longer hate my life I may dislike it right now knowing I can't like Seina that way because we are sisters but that us probably gods way of saying we weren't meant. I got moved to a new school. We even moved away. I know all this is hard to take in knowing how terrible my life is but please. I feel you or somebody you know is getting hurt or isn't eating or doesn't sleep or any other things about them may be different please don't do what my friends did and forget about me and abandon my silent cry for help. Please help them. Call someone anyone and most importantly do not leave it a secret I hope this is getting out to some of you. Even I it is just giving your friend a hug for no reason I promise you. It helps. A lot... Thank you and please understand I am better and I am still persuing my dream of being a game designer or computer engineer/Robotics Technician. They give me love like never before and I hope you all are supportive of this. It was very hard to write. I am sorry it is sloppy and bad. But I didn't want to have a emotional fit or break down. Thank you to all who are helping saving lives. I hope it didn't bother you to much. And I am so very, truly sorry if it made you cry or if it triggered you. I also took a liking in photography so there is a picture of Siena and Austin for the cover that I took.(by the way Austin is adopted to)sorry I didn't talk about my sister that much.
But lastly. 
Thank you. 😊😊🙌💞💕

-Allison