Category : Blogs

Sub Category : LifeStyle

Every Sunday I look forward to reading the StarMag page of one of our local newspaper, The Star. My favourite column to read in the StarMag is the 'Heart & Soul' page where it is divided into two sections. One section is usually about some heart warming story sent in by the public, while the other section is a 'Dear Thelma' column where people write in with all kinds of personal problems in hopes that dear Thelma would be able to shed some light on them.

Today, in the 'Dear Thelma' column, I read about this guy who wrote in about his very messy life. He is a married man who is in love with a woman who is also married. According to this guy, he and his lover have everything - love, purpose, passion, companionship, and a wonderful sex life. He also mentioned in his letter that his lover's husband lives abroad but didn't say where his own wife is located.

Two sons were born from their steamy love affair but both sons carry his lover's husband's name (hmm.... the husband must either be really dense or totally clueless to not realize that the boys are not his kids), and because this bloke is not all that financially stable, his lover relies on her husband for financial support.

After the first son was born, she took the boy abroad for a holiday to meet his 'father'. While she was away visiting her husband, this guy had a fling with another woman which he claimed was solely for sex. Then when she came back from her holiday, she somehow found out about his fling and all hell broke loose. They fought and argued but he must be a real charmer because he won her over and they continue to live together under the same roof.

Somewhere along the line, an old schoolmate of the woman (who is a lesbian) showed up and the two women started getting close. She then told him that she's starting to have feelings for her lesbian friend and out of anger (more out of bruised ego, I think), he up and left their home. He thought by doing that she would come to her senses and break away from the lesbian but boy, was he wrong! She took the opportunity of him walking out to ask her lesbian friend to move in with her and her sons.

Now, this dude's dilemma is not only having to deal with the fact that her husband is coming back for a visit soon, but he also has to deal with the fact that she has told him she is going to have a heart to heart talk with her husband about her relationship with her lesbian lover. In his letter, he told dear Thelma that "he's flummoxed and going bonkers as he doesn't know what to do to get her back".

Talk about drama overload! I have heard of quite a number of crazy affairs but I think this one takes the cake. I mean, what was this dude thinking keeping a wife on the side and living with another woman and fathering her children? Where does his wife fit into all this? From the sound of it, it appears like he doesn't give two hoots about his wife's feelings at all so why doesn't he just end her misery by letting her go so she can get on with her life? If he really loves this woman and his sons like what he claims, why not be a man and face his responsibilities by making an honest woman out of her rather than continuing with the sleazy affair with her on the sly? And if the truth comes out one day that he is the father of the two boys, what then?

I can say this much, Dear Thelma was stumped by this 'cry for help'. I could tell from her reply (the way she was skirting around the issues) that she had no idea what to say to this dude that could help him with his "problems" in any way.

I am curious, if you are Dear Thelma, what advice would you give to this dude? Hit me up in the comments as I would love to hear your thoughts.