Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Miscellaneous

Doubtful~Thoughts.
Today I lost my cell. And you know? I've lost cell phones before, and it's always frustrating. I think about the value then how everything was set up the way I like it. All my games etc. When other people lost their phones, I would feel sympathetic. Yet, I never truley understood their pain. Some people acted like it was everything to them. 
I should probably mention that I'm Not one of those people that use alot of social media apps, or spend every 5 minutes looking at my phone. No, I'm someone who leaves my cell in my coat pocket for days until it dies and I need to just plug it in. 
But recently since I've been writing, I use my phone for all of it. I don't own a computer right now. So it's my cell that I have been on alot lately! And today when I couldn't find my phone, initially I thought it was like normal. I had just misplaced it or put it down without thinking. But when it wasn't anywhere that it normally shows up! I searched everywhere. Eventually I gave up. 
(One friend had come over today and I honestly thought that just maybe! She grabbed it ?) I do live in a bad neighborhood, and it's happened before. But I really trust this person and have known her since childhood. But that also made me think in the back of my head maybe this is payback for something when we were kids ? We always did fight. But love each other unconditionally. So I did my best to brush those thoughts away, and told myself no. That's not it, and I have to look more. 
So in between giving up then searching around all day. I couldn't focus on anything but my cell. But because I felt that everything I had been enjoying so much lately was gone ! All my rough ideas, the Chapters I had yet to post! All my effort was in this cell I had now lost. And it was worse than ever loosing a phone before. I was sad and unfocused. Then I thought maybe this is how people feel when they loose their phones, the thing they look at every 5 minutes of everyday. That makes them happy.
So, I ended up finding my phone, And felt pretty bad still. Only because I actually thought even for a second that my close friend had betrayed me. So I'm still debating whether I should apologize or not ? Lol its kinda weird when I say it because, I dont know.. Should I apologize for something she knows nothing about ? And was a thought ? Or will that actually just make her think worse of me ? I've never apologized about anything like this, so I was actually thinking about it... I'm probably just overthinking things anyways, it's been a stressful day. 
Well if you guys have any thoughts I'd love to hear em' like always ! Oh, and it's kinda late so I'll post up my New Chapters of: The 5 Brave. Tomorrow !                                     
Till' Next Time ><