Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I only felt the warmth of the sun once today. Bittersweet as its rise and gsll, during my brief stint to the mailbox. My mind had opened today to really seeing the rest of my life, flash forward.  Ill be 30 in 5 months and Adetunji will be 3 in 6. Its kind of sad but i do not see anything notable in my future  and i have no hope for the staples of milestones I use to. Like graduating a M.A. getting married more children. Especially under the haunting overriding precedence that my mother feeds on the misfortunes of other, and tends to keep it around it only so sh e can boed superior above.  The only thing i worry is with a speculated "autistic" very dependant child, confusion, no stability or suppprt other then the mockery and manipulation of a chaotic enviornment , where will we turn when the rug of biology is pulled from beneath us. I'd really like to start at least stretching,  its sad im paying for a gym pass im not even using. No car to get there, even though my mother had coerced me to pay $980 dollars for car insurance supposedly she and my dad intended for me to drive, i was reluctant to do do and to my indifference, the car inpaid insurance for literally broke down the very nexr day. Leaving all money I wasted to default unto the abyss of senselessness.  I feel terrible and its unwaveringly resound within me by course whispering of "diabolical death".