Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

There is this person you want me to be, the person I've tried to be. There is this person I am today, the one I love but I'm unsure of because you resist it. You cast your judgement upon me when I stray, making me uneasy of my choices. If I am wrong why am I so happy? Why do you seem to have no joy? I feel like there is so much more to life than in your box of answers. It's not as simple as you make it out to be. This universe is bigger than one god, one religion, one idea, or one path. When I leave your way why is it so difficult for me to find myself settled even though I know it's the real me? Is there a middle ground? If so, I have not found it. What if all I'm doing leads me the wrong way, what if you're right, what if I'm wrong? Then fuck, I lived a life of happiness. I'm so tired of being unhappy, I'm tired of feeling guilty for things so damned minut, for feeling the agony of not being perfect for you. It's too much to bear. Yet your box says to give it all to you, all my burdens. You're my burden, I'm light without you. I'm free without you, I'm me without you. I love who I am without you! Yet after all this revelation I feel a tinge of guilt that I turned my back, that I put away all that is you and I feel this draw back to you. Is it that pull for self destruction? The desire to feel the weight of depression? All those feelings are so familiar & comforting now that they feel like home. I have a new home now within myself, within my cloud. A cloud where I meet my love, my desire, my everything. My home where I feel safe & wanted like I've never felt before. I found my home in someone else who doesn't live inside your box.