Comments
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There are many things you do right. I love your ability to use actual conversation and narrative to advance the plot equally. Your pacing is where i struggled and eventually fell off following what was going on. Pacing? I know right. Here is what i mean. There where many times i felt like the gas pedal was jammed down and rocketed into the pace, then, when there should be a transition into the next day or something different the pedal is just held down. There was no real time to breath between the heavy dramatics. you are excellent at writing suspense and drama, hopefully you can maybe figure out how to let us come up for air every few paragraphs.
Apr 22, 2018