Category : Notes/work

Sub Category : N/A

When I was younger I looked into a mirror and concluded that I was in the wrong body. I thought that somehow, someone switched places with me. My hair wasn't brown and curly, it was black and straight. My eyes weren't green either, they were brown. I tried telling "my parents" but they wouldn't listen. I had no proof, they thought I was joking. And over the years, I started to play along. 
At first it was hard. It made me feel empty and heavy at the same time. I was clumsy. That won't change, but they expected little Max to be sporty. But I wasn't Max. Max is a good dancer, but I'm not. Still I played along. Years and years of acting.
Then I started becoming good at it. They wanted me to play football? I learned. Max was the best dancer at school? I danced. I kept playing as "Max", until I forgot who I was. I was just Max. Eating dinner with "my parents", playing games with "my friends". Heck I even dated one of them. I forgot all about that wrong body business. Until college that is. What a weird word college is. Only fitting that's when it came back.
It was nothing at first. Just times of feeling emptier than usual. Maybe a bit heavier. 
Then the mirror showed me "me". Brown eyes, the colour of wood; hair as straight as a rod and as black as tar. Well not really, but you get the point. I saw me, the real me, for the first time in years. And it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand. It stared at me for so long I felt those brown eyes drilling into me. It stared at me, eyes accusing. But that was the worst of it, back then. I could ignore that. Not use the mirror anymore. Months went by, I thought that little episode was over.