Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

The more I fight it, the worse it gets.
The less I fight, the worse it gets.

The more I fight, the less I fight.
The less I fight, the more I fight.

The change takes over, I cannot win.
Stuck in a never ending feedback loop.

I am no longer myself. Destined to fail.
My attempts to stop the darkness have backfired.
All attempts must cease.

The war is over, but still I fight.

The change takes over, the change is me.
I am my own enemy.

You cannot fight yourself, nature will prevail.
I am to blame for 90% of my problems.
I cannot stop the rest.
These 90% are too hard to fight.
I cannot fight my own nature.

The change will win in the end, I will win. I will loose.

My nature and human nature clash.
I will always fail.
It is my nature to get back up again, so I do.

Once again I fail, over and over, so I complain and give up, realising I cannot win.

This makes me angry, fueling the fight ahead.
As I start all over again.

The never ending loop restarts.
I fight myself again.

The pain is too much, I always push too hard for perfection.
The stress is overwhelming.

The change, or my fighting it, which are essentially the same thing, hurt others around me, causing my remorse. Wanting to change my course of action overcomes me. All the pain adds up. It fuels my madness.

My own madness, in a never ending loop.
I cannot win.

For those who follow the rules, it becomes the most difficult to be a teenager.

Cannot let go, when I am told to hold on. But what happens when the railing disappears?

I fall, forever falling in a bottomless pit.

I am plagued by my negative outlook. It causes fear for the end of the world. Will humans cause their own doom? Will our dreams of space fail do to lack of devotion?

You cannot win a battle on two fronts. Yet I face one on five.

And yet I get back up again restarting the never ending loop of insanity.

Perfectionist
Outcast
Negative
Knowing too much... Knowledge is power, power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, absolute knowledge corrupts absolutely.

I cause my own problems. I feed the loop. The loop haunts me.

The loop is my own personal monster.