Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

It's hard for me to like someone without knowing what they are on the inside. At first it seems they are nice and good looking, but really they're heartbreaking. 
    This is my feeling for others I start to like more than a friend. 
     What I really want is someone to listen to me. Help me through my worst. And be with me at my best. Someone that I can argue with and then make up with. Someone to have me as one of their main priorities.
      That would be the type of person I want for years and years to come. I would rather my future soulmate with a passionate heart and a caring mind.  A mate that has a dark side and tell me and show me their devastating half.
    I want to comfort them as much as they will comfort me. Will he or she love me with all their heart or... perhaps not. Will he or she understand me at their fullest or... perhaps not.
     This desperation of trying to seek for someone that will love me in a way that I want them to has been nurturing inside my mind. I know I'm young and must wait to meet my future as the time pass, but I guess...it's been hard to stick with someone that will not intrigue me. 
      A lust that has not ever been satisfied. I'm afraid that this is part of my depression. It must be. If there's someone that I'm talking to, I want to keep talking to them. I want to exchange and engage all of my heart into the conversation, but I get shy and hold back. Already saying I love them is too fast.
     This I hate, but why is it something that I want and will not quit to ask for. Hate and happiness and love and life really are becoming a pain. That I hate, but it's something I can't deny. Something I can't defy because really it's just what I wish for. It's something of what I want....