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She could feel it deep down in her soul, she was losing that girl who believed in the good of the world. The past month had seen her transform into either a cold hearted monster or a human fit for the vices of this world. She cared less and for some reason she felt good about it. Was that how a person who is selfish feels? Care free of other people's feelings? Or was she just learning to put herself first?  She was putting on the thick skin for the things happening to her but was the skin too thick?  What if this meant the depression and anxiety finally went away but it couldn't possibly be, I mean she had just had a mental breakdown a few hours ago when she heard Vancouver Sleep's "someone to stay" play on that good TV show she was watching. It reminded her just how much she did need someone who was going to stay. Everyone else who walked in with promises had left and now the thought of someone who might actually fight for her made her eyes moist. When was it her turn to be taken care of the same way she did others?  When was it time for that guy that was going to ride or die for her to walk in?  These were not light thoughts  for her brain to handle so the eyes did the job. 
She was losing hope in being good to people or acquiring things the right way. She was now considering screwing over whoever she could to get everything, because she was a nice girl,  but nice girls were the most hurt because they didn't push back when pushed to the wall, she was confused. Whether she was going the right direction, that she didn't know. She just hope that being gold dust, the wind will blow her the right path 

~misskaecha~