Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

i watch you,i listen.
you take more and more,
you mummble in your sleep,
and even sometimes weep.

i know what you are feeling.
depression,lonliness,pain.
i to have been there. 
its the hardest thing in the world to quit,
atleast to us addicts.

its like the pain grows and we attempt to cloak it,
we swallow pill after pill but
eventually nothing works.
there is no real remedy for
what we are fighting against
except determination and will

going through those first few days 
of no longer swallowing a handful of pills.
that pain is worse than what you thought
you felt all this time,all these years.

but i did it mom, and i wish you were
willing to do the same.
i look at you and i dont see you,
i dont see the indestructable
woman who survived years of abuse,
i dont see the woman who was once 
a prison guard & a bouncer at a 
club in one of the worst neighborhoods.

all i see now is your limp body on the couch,
all i see or hear is how weak you have become.
i know we have had many many many
fall outs,even fall aparts. but never 
in my 26 years with you have i ever
seen you give up like you have now.

what happened to you mom?
why are you letting in to your addiction?
we need you to be around but at this
rate i feel like you wont make it to 50.