💔STRUGGLES WITH MY PAST 💔
Read Count : 158
Category : Diary/Journal
Sub Category : N/A
I oftentimes find myself reflecting on my past. Starting out with the good memories I once knew, then taking me right back to those traumatizing events that I can't get passed. I struggle with the pain I put my loved ones through while I was addicted to drugs. I know I hurt myself during those sixteen years of bad decision making but, they didn't have a choice nor did they ask to be put in the midst of my agony and that's the part that hurts me the worst.
No one ever wakes up on any given morning and says to themselves, "you know what, I think I'm going to start popping pills today and lets see where it takes me." Because it doesn't ever happen like that. Some people are born with an addictive personality and they can easily be influenced by their peers, it doesn't make us horrible people but if you were to ask certain members of my family they would tell you a whole different story. But regardless of what one thinks, I try each day to overcome that chapter in my life and move on from it. They say in the NA Program that you must forgive yourself entirely before any progress at recovery can be accomplished. That's true but I haven't quite made it there just yet. Some wounds need more time to heal than others and one day I will slowly but surely get to that peaceful place in my life. 💓
