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When There Is Love
By Quin Kehler

What is love? How can we keep love in a marriage? Must courtship stop after we get married?
My husband and I did not notice one another until I went to college, and visit home during one summer. That following year, he came to college. We knew we liked each other, but did not go courting till two years later in spring. He took every opportunity to be with me. It thrilled me to know and see that I am loved by the man I was going to marry. Our parents already approved our relationship.
It’s important that couples have their parents’ approval concerning their relationship (Eph. 6:2). Samson's parents did not approve of him marrying a woman from an ungodly nation (Judges 14:3). He married her anyhow, and it cost him his life (Judges 16:6-30). Parents could see the road up ahead better than we do. They have been down the same road we went. God gave us parents to give counsel and guidance.
“Action speaks louder than words,” I hear people say. Love is not a feeling, but a choice. Just as God chooses to love us by sending His only begotten Son to pay for our sin which we can not pay on our own (John 1:29; 3:16; Rom. 3:23; 6:23; 1 John 2:2; 4:10), we should love one another, even the unlovable. Emotions change and is deceptive. Our heart is full of emotions. We must not trust it. It is why we must guard our heart.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life,” Proverbs 4:23.
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9.
God's love is unconditional. He can love the most wicked. We need to have that same love shown to one another (Eph. 5:23-25). One must trust Jesus Christ as his personal Saviour to have love in his marriage for God is love (1 John 4:7-8, 10, 12, 16, 20).
The media gives us the false idea that after we wed, courtship days are past, and there is no romance. Read the Song of Solomon. It shows the intimate relationship between a husband and wife. My husband and I still do things together. Go on dates, watch a movie and play together. After all, we married our best friend.
You keep loving your spouse by:
1.	Noticing him. You must not forget that you are living with someone besides yourself. Let him know that you care about him. Appreciate him. You don't know when the Lord will take one of you home.
2.	Staying attractive. Keep being the person he married. Be more attractive by being in shape and being healthy, the older you get. Dress up for him. Wear clothes he is fond of seeing you wear.
3.	Praising him. You are his special person. Let him know you value him. Praise him in front of your children. Let them know he is a good husband and father.
4.	Respecting him. Submit to his God-given role.
We must prove to the world that husband and wife is the most important relationship on earth, since God first institute the family. When there is love in marriage, it is secure from the world (Prov. 31:11-12; Eph. 5:25-27).