Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

To love someone is not a choice, not really. Sometimes it is a feeling deeply rooted in your Soul that just refuses to go away. That feeling, it is stronger than your thoughts, stronger than your pride, stronger than your anger, stronger than anything you've ever experienced feeling before.

But sometimes, love just can't be. No matter what you try, no matter how badly you want it, no matter how much you pray for it, it just can't be. And it is no one's fault really. It is just the way it is sometimes. And sometimes, for you own sanity, you must accept that you are just not meant to be at this moment because it just doesn't work the way you both are right now. Sure, when you have fallen hard for someone, this is not an easy thing to accept. You will be wrecking your brain with all the "why's" in trying to make sense of why it cannot be right now. Don't do that to yourself. Don't drive yourself crazy with questions you know you will not be satisfied with whatever answer you come up with. At the end of the day, what you need to remember is this.... love has no boundaries and no expiry date. If you truly love someone, if your heart is pure, you will want what is best for that person. Allow them to find what they want and what makes them happy. It takes a whole lot of maturity to pull this off; to let them go with love and wish them the best in life.

But don't fret. Just remember.... time tells all. So, give it time. Let nature take its course. If the love is true, in time, it will come back to you with more clarity and a better understanding of what that love truly means.

Some may read this and with a smirk say, "Yeah, right! Easy for you to say. Try going through it yourself."

Truth is, I am writing this based on my own personal experience. So, yeah. I do know what I'm talking about. I met a guy many, many years ago and fell hard for him. The feeling was mutual but the timing was all wrong. We wanted to be together but our circumstances at the time did not permit it. As hard and as painful as it was, I let him go. It was a decision I made not only for myself but for him as well. I was torn and I was afraid. What if I made the wrong choice? But what if that was the right choice? Only one way to find out.... brave it out and go with the flow. With that, I let him go. We went our separate ways and lived our own lives. A few years later, our paths crossed again. Unplanned. Unexpected. We learned that the love we had for each other before had not changed. The chemistry was still strong and the fire was still burning. In fact, the feeling of love that we have for each other today is a lot stronger than it was before. Yet again, the timing for us is all wrong. He is involved with his high school crush. And you know what they say about your first crush; it is not something you can easily forget. I get that.

They have been going together for a couple of years now. Their relationship has been rocky right from the start with too many lies and deceit and childish mind games. A fact which he had openly admitted to me. He held on. She messed up his career, messed up his life and she did it all with her demanding ways. She treated him like dirt, made him feel small then dumped him like a piece of garbage. He was broken hearted. Understandably so. But still, he held on. 

Today, they are back together with her smiling pretty for the camera. She has looped a rope around his neck like a noose on a cow, dragging him around town and flaunting him like a piece of her trophy while she pisses all over him like a dog marking her territory. She hasn't changed. She is still that spoiled brat of a Princess sitting on her high horse and calling the shots as she continues to feed him with deceit and lies while she messes with his head with her mind games. 

And still, I patiently wait. After all, time will tell, right?