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In the corner of my bedroom I set and held my knees together and waited for all the arguments in the next room to end, my mom and my dad were at it again I could hear my mom screaming and my father shouting on top of his voice this time the argument was getting out of control and my mom ran out of the room to the hall way, my brother ran to my mom and begged my father to let her go but the alcohol in my father system didn't listen to anything all what he could listen to was the violence voice in his head. All of the sudden there was a silent in the hallway, I was relieved to think that everyone was quietly in bed I opened the door quietly and walked to my brother's room before I could open the door my heart dropped at my feet by the sound of a gun shot in our house I swear my feet were frozen and I couldn't move a inch my brother stormed out of his room to my parent's room he screamed with a cry in his voice I wanted to run there but I couldn't move I was in shock even when I didn't know what was going on, the next thing I heard was another gun shot but this time I ran to the room. I held my mouth as I saw my mom laying there in the pool of her blood and next to her was my dad's body laying there lifeless and my 16 year old brother held my father's gun in his hands looking at his body with so much anger and tears ran down his chick in my mind I didn't want to believe the second shot was fired by my brother but how can I convince myself when I could see for myself that he shot our dad for shooting our mother, I was just 10 years old it was hard to digest all that inside my mind. My brother called the police himself and before the police came he told he was sorry because I might not be able to see him in a long time but he never apologized for killing dad which made me feel better because I didn't want him to feel sorry for that, I still didn't understand anything at that time but one thing I knew all my parents were dead and my brother was going to prison for a crime he didn't caused. I know he killed dad but I thought he was a hero for ending the life of a man who did nothing but caused my mom pain every night. I grew up in an abusive home and my brother was our strength and that night event never left my memory, my brother didn't make it for long in prison until he got stabbed by another inmate. I thought things were probably going to be better after my father's death since no one was there to hurt us but everything became harder my mom was not there to make sure I ate every day, my family came and took over everything we owned and I was left with nothing but the streets. In the streets as a girl I've learned never to subject myself and body to any man in fact I hated men, I hated them for killing my mom, I hated them for being so abusive and what made me more angry I hated them for rapping me on the streets. I was angry to the world for being so cruel to me. Today people ask me why I'm so angry and call me names for being who I am but they can never know because their childhood was not damaged.

She closed her journal after reading her speech to her college mates who judged her for being rude and grumpy all the time.