Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

the day my body became his.

i was only nine years old when he gave me a lollipop and told me to keep quite while he put his hand on my mouth. 

I was only nine years old when he touched my backside and told me i was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. 

I was only nine years old when he put his fingers at the hem of my shirt and told me to lift my arms.
I was only nine years old when he started to caress my chest , the only sound i remember was the snarl that came out of his voice 
I was only nine years old when he told me to lie down on the bed and not make a sound because that could only get me into trouble if i wake up my Aunt who was sleeping through a hangover from the night before on the next room.

He ripped my skirt off and the rest was history. 

I was only 15 years old when the boys from my hood felt entitled to my body.
I was so desperate for love even though i never knew what it was. Thomas promised to love me as long as i give myself to him behind that parking lot.

He ddnt even remove my clothes but just slipped my panties to the side and taint me with his demons. 

In 10th grade i thought herry was the one because he took me to that supermarket and bought me ice cream. Later that night he was dropping me off to my street with himself dripping from between my legs.

Sidwel said those guys were assholes, he would treat me right. I agreed with him and i also agreed when he invited me to a party with his friends. Around midnight he told me i had to pay for the drinks ive consumed.

I remember my throat hurting from tasting 8 different boys that day.

It went on until Thomas because another Thomas, Sidwel became another sidwel. Herry became another herry until they all just became one and the same.

When i turned 17 i was walking down the street. A huge man in a white Mercedes asked to give me a lift. He offered to buy me food. Food became clothing by the time he brought me home. He told me to wait for him the next day by the supermarket at 16:00pm. 

Later the next day he was throwing money on my naked chest in that hotel room. He told me he could introduce me to his friends. And because for once someone gave me something in exchange for the body that my uncle claimed as his own when i was nine i agreed.

5 years later i am told that receiving Money in exchange of a body that no longer belongs to me is considered immoral. They call me a prostitute, sounds very classy. My uncle called me a whore once when he finished that bottle of tequila because my aunt told him she was having another baby.

I'm told it is wrong when it is the only thing that i know. When the people who were supposed to teach me morals are the ones who took away my innocence?
You can't tell me its wrong when you were not there when my uncle left me bleeding that first day. You can't blame me for looking for love in all the wrong places.
If you're looking for someone to blame, blame yourself for your absence when i was young and defenseless. Blame my uncle who thought i was pretty enough. Or my Aunt who was was half dead all the time from all the liquor she consumed day after day. Why not the government who promised to protect us when my mother voted before the accident that claimed her life. You can all blame yourselves for leaving me with those horrible people who taught me nothing but how to have sex.