Category : Articles

Sub Category : Motivation

If for instance we see a laborer carrying a large physical weight of crates and we watch them struggling with the weight, we would not accuse that person of weakness if they temporarily stop to rest, right? Out of common sense, we understand his struggle because we can physically see it. My question is, why should less visible experiences be any different? 
If someone we know has a migraine, we can't physically see the throbbing of the pain inside that person's head, right? All we can see is the person wincing in pain. And out of common sense again, we wouldn't tell them to 'get a grip' or even imply that they are only 'imagining things'. Instead, we might encourage them to rest in a darkened room until they feel better. 
With respect to depression, the pain and struggle of the darkness in that black hole is not visible. Like migraine, it is an internal pain and struggle. What we can see is maybe a change of behaviour in that person. They may talk less, eat less and they might even choose to withdraw from people and spend time alone staring into space. Addressing the core of the problem and talking to someone trustworty are ways to enable people struggling with depression  to keep going rather than keep things bottled up. Just like we eat food to provide our body with energy, or someone takes their car to the petrol station to refuel; it is a necessity. My point is, it is more sensible to address the problem at an earlier stage before it gets to the point where one feels as if they cannot take anymore, as opposed to keep going in silence and risk a meltdown or a shutdown.
Pain overload is very real to those who experience depression. Not only can this be extremely debilitating to live with, it can also have a significant impact on their daily ability to function. Those who are suffering from deep chronic depression are a lot more sensitive and prolonged silence can lead to incredible distress. They might focus all their energy into trying to block out the pain that those around them may not even notice, making them oblivious to everything else that is going on in their environment. That doesn't sound like much fun, does it? At the same time, receiving too much information or stimulation and not enough time to process them, or experiencing too many stressors or triggers and not feeling as though they have enough juice and strength in them to cope with, can also contribute to the effects of the pain overload. It is indeed a very tricky situation. Over the course of the day, weeks or months, all the little things add up. Eventually, all the unprocessed triggers can result in a meltdown or shutdown, unless they are self aware and have coping mechanisms in place to deal with it.
Different methods work best for different people. As observers, it would help to try to understand why someone is behaving in a certain way and offer them support rather than blame or judgment. For example, if you find yourself making conversation and your recipient appears not to be listening or paying attention, don't blow your lid off on them. Instead, consider that this person may be completely overloaded and is unable to hear you. They may see your lips moving, they may hear your voice but they may not hear what you are saying. They are not playing dumb or even being rude. They are merely focusing on blocking out their pain. To force someone to endure their overload or to pressure someone who struggles with depression is not fair. It can make such a difference if everyone respect coping mechanisms and choose to respond in a way that is loving, compassionate, understanding and accepting of the fact that we all have different needs and alternative ways of coping with life and the world around us.
Compare a house built on sand to one built on a rock. Which one is more likely to withstand a storm? Would it be the one without a strong support or the one established on a solid foundation? If we are all rooted in love and care for each other as we care for ourselves, would we knowingly abuse or ill treat one another? Wouldn't we be more likely to offer acceptance to one another and respond to those around us in the way that mirrors the way we would like to be treated? If we stand on the principles of fairness, inclusion and equality, would this not allow us to better stand up against discrimination, judgment and injustice? If hope is our anchor and faith is our shield, wouldn't this also enable us to better cope with our own inner demons and equip us to defend against the lies that depression and anxiety spout?
For many of us, it is rarely one little thing that causes us to feel like life is too much. It is often a combination of factors and perhaps not knowing how to cope or maybe just feeling as if we have no strength or even desire left to keep fighting. This can be a very lonely place, more so if you feel isolated. And in those times, it can take everything you have to make a choice to get back up and keep trying to move forward, especially when it seems as though the light at the end of the tunnel is out of sight. If this describes you and you are really struggling, know that reaching out for support is not a weakness. It is a strength. It takes a lot of courage to admit you have a problem and to reach out and seek help. If you have had primarily negative experiences in reaching out, I can understand how this may seem like the last thing you may want to do. But remember this, not everyone is the same. Not everyone is cold and unfeeling.
Although there is a lot of darkness in this world and it can often seem like a very cold, inhospitable place, there is always someone out there who cares. Perhaps someone who has been through similar circumstances to yours who is able to empathize with you and in turn demonstrate kindness and compassion. Do not think you are alone, because you are not. Do not think no one will understand, because someone will.