Category : Stories

Sub Category : Drama

The wind was blowing violently that morning, I could hear the blinds slamming against the open window, clank, clank clank. The sound played over and over in my mind, like an annoying show tune that gets stuck on repeat. Except, unlike a show tune, this sound brought back a memory that will forever be etched in my brain. It was the day I got the call that shattered my entire world.


It started off a beautiful day, the sun was finally showing itself after hiding away this long winter. The flowers on the trees were blooming shades of pink and purple. Due to the wind, it almost looked like snow as they fell off the tree. Spring was coming and we were all ready for it. The kids jumped out of their beds easily that morning. The usual fighting amongst them continued as they poured their cereal. Nothing uncommon amongst siblings, but as a mother it definitely wore me down most days.


 With backpacks and lunches in tow, I dropped them each off at their perspective schools and drove away enjoying the peaceful drive back home. 

I had been sick and was looking forward to soaking in a warm bath in the peace and quiet of an empty home. I pushed the button on the coffee maker as soon as I set down my purse and keys. I filled my cup and walked upstairs with a book to read. 

It was difficult to find quiet time when the kids were home, so I took advantage of it while they were at school some days. I had a busy day ahead, but I felt it was necessary for my mental health to wind down for a few minutes before jumping into the day with both feet. 
It was a Monday and chores awaited. Dry cleaners, grocery shopping for the week, I had to run out and get Jacob's cap and gown pressed. I had to shop for his graduation party this weekend and make sure the cake was ordered. But first, I stole some much needed me time.


 I felt all my aches melt away in the hot water as I got lost in the story I was reading. Suddenly, my phone rang, I thought about ignoring it until I saw that the number was my son's school. "What now?" I groaned as I reached for my phone being careful to not drop it into the tub.

 "Hello?" There was a pause then I heard a recorded voice..."Grant High is on lockdown, there is an active shooter, please stand by for details..

"Was this for real? Or a drill?" My hand started to shake and I quickly jumped out of the tub. I instinctively dialed the schools number in hopes to clarify the situation. 


This has to be a drill, my son goes to one of the top schools in the city. Kids all seemed well adjusted. That sort of thing doesn't happen here. Beep, beep, beep, beep. The line was busy. I hung up and called my son, I usually refrained from interrupting his school day, he had a lot going on senior year and he needed to focus. But under the circumstances, I needed some clarification. 


His phone rang and rang "Its Jacob, hang up and text me" Beeeep. "Jacob it's mom, call me. I'm beginning to freak out."I hung up and immediately my phone rang. Without even looking who it was from I picked it up.


"Thank god, Jacob. What's going on?" "Its Ashley, I was calling to see if you knew what was going on? The school's automated system called. Is this a drill??" She shrieked into the phone. Holding back tears I said I didn't know, "I couldn't get a hold of Jacob, have you tried Emitt?" "I did, but it went to voicemail" she sobbed. "Jacob's did too, but they are in class. I'm sure everything is alright. "It has to be," I thought to myself. "I'm going to get dressed and head over there. I'll let you know what I find out." I said in a calm voice. 


Ashley was an attorney, there was no need for her to drop everything for a drill. Since I was home and close to the school it made sense for me to go. "I'll call you as soon as I hear anything." 


I kept trying Jacob's phone as I got dressed. He still didn't pick up. I started to worry, my gut was telling me that something was up. 
I got in my car, my hand was shaking now making it difficult to get the car started. The keys dropped. "Dammit", I yelled as I jumped out of the car to find them. 
I froze, I could hear what sounded like an entire police force blaring their sirens. This can't be part of the drill, I thought. Suddenly there was a helicopter over my head. 


Instinctively, I ran. I don't even know if I closed my car door. At that moment it didn't matter. I just ran in the direction of his school. The closer I got I could hear the commotion. Cars, sirens, sobbing from parents huddled outside of the schools perimeter. "Jen!" I heard someone call my name. I turned towards the familiar voice. 
Cathy, Mike's mom was waving me over. Her face was red and wet from tears. I ran over to her, already out of breath. I was still trying get over this cold, and breathing was difficult. "What's going on??" I said in a panic. 


Through her tears, Cathy explained that there was an active shooter on campus. My heart sank, I felt my legs give out. I hit the ground. A few of the other moms rushed to my side to help me up. "I have to call Ashley", I stuttered. By this time, I was crying. It was a deep guttural type cry that I was unfamiliar with. I took a deep breath when she answered. All I could say was "get here now". I can hear her on the other end frantically begging for answers, but I didn't have any to give. "Just get here, it's not a drill".Then I quickly hung up.
Time seemed to stop as we all huddled outside of the school. We felt helpless as we waited for something. We weren't sure what, but we waited. 


The helicopter above was loud as it  circled around the campus. Cops were everywhere. Some were unloading out of the back of a truck wearing protective swat gear, while others herded the families that were still showing up for answers.
 I desperately searched the new coming families for Ashley. Right now I could use a friend. I'm sure she could as well. Ashley and I became friends when Jacob and Emitt were playing little league together. The boys got close over the years. Emitt quit baseball when he was in junior high to take up swimming. However they both had already built a strong bond over the years, so it didn't matter that they chose different paths.


 Ashley was more like a sister to me. She was there when I was going through my divorce and there for me while I found my new normal raising three kids on my own. Her daughter would babysit my younger two while we went on our adult playdates.


 We were both excited and proud of our boys who were going to college in the fall. Emitt was accepted to Pepperdine in southern California, while Jacob got a full scholarship to USC. They were both looking forward to be moving to LA together. I quickly jerked around when I heard that familiar voice. “I need to get through, please.” she barked. 


I saw a petite lady with reddish brown shoulder length hair coming at me. Ashley. Feeling a little relieved, I made my way through the crowd to get to her. We finally caught eyes and she was pushing her way through to me as well. Halfway to Ashley my phone rang. I felt a wave of relief wash over me when I saw Jacob's name flash my phone. 

“Jacob, thank God, what's going on? Are you ok?” “Mrs. Carter?” said the small mousy voice on the other end. “Who is this? Emma? Is that you?” I asked in a panic.“Yes” she whispered. “Sweetie, what's going on? Are you ok? Where is Jacob??” All I could hear on the other end was quiet sobs. “Emma, honey, are you ok?” “I'm scared, my phone is dead and I can't call my mom,” she cried.“Ok, ok. I will find her. I'm outside. I will find her. But please, where is Jacob and why do you have his phone??” I begged. “He’s here, he's laying next to me,” “Okay, let me just talk to him, put him on the phone sweetheart. I will find your mom, I promise. Just let me talk to Jacob.” “He can't talk.” Emma started crying and I couldn't understand what she was saying. “You need to stay calm, take a deep breath honey, I can't understand you.” “There is so much blood, he's he’s…” “He’s what, Emma?? Tell me what's going on??” By that time I was screaming.


 Ashley had made her way to me by then. She was staring at me hoping for some insight on what was going on.It was then that I heard a Pop, pop, pop. “Emma, what was that? Are you ok?” I cried. “It’s Trent. He has a gun and he's shooting everyone,” she sobbed in a little whisper. I felt my knees get weak. “Oh my god, oh my god. Emma, where are you? Can he see you? Get down and stay down.” “I am down, he already passed us.” She whispered. “Mrs. Carter, Jacob is hurt bad, he's bleeding. He jumped in front of me. I don't know how to help him, I'm so scared,” she started crying again uncontrollably. I felt my whole world spin then suddenly it all went black. 

“Jen, Jen,” I heard someone calling out to me. “Jacob, where is Jacob?” I mumbled.

 I opened my eyes and saw a crowd of people looking down at me. Ashley was on her knees holding my hand. “Jen, are you ok? You must have fainted” she said as she helped me to sit up. Suddenly I remembered the conversation with Emma. “Ashley, Jacob has been shot. That was Emma. I need to get to him. Where is my phone?? I need to find Emma's mom.” “Slow down, hun. We will find your phone.”  Ashley said in a calm voice. How is she so calm, my son is in there dying, I heard the shots. 


Ashley hollered to the crowd that was surrounding me to back up and look for my phone. She was petite, but she was a no nonsense woman. Her personality made her seem bigger than she was, and people listened to her. The crowd backed away and I felt the fresh air find its way down to me. “I found it!” someone yelled. Seconds later, with my phone in hand I dialed Jacob's number. It rang only once then Emma answered. “Mrs. Carter, what happened? Please don't hang up, I'm so scared. Please. ”She pleaded. I could feel the tears escape my eyes as I answered. “I'm so sorry, I must have fainted, I'm here, I'm not leaving you. Can you please hold the phone to Jacob's ear?” I begged.“Ok” She said.


“Jacob, Jacob sweetheart it's mom, can you hear me honey? It's going to be ok, you're going to be alright. Please say something baby, please talk to me,” I cried.After a few minutes of silence, Ashley took my phone. I fell back down with my head in my hands and cried, then I yelled his name. Ashley had one hand over my shoulder and one hand holding the phone. I can hear her comforting Emma, and soon her voice sounded like it was slowing down, and I couldn't make out what she was saying. 


My mind wandered back to a time when Jacob was a little boy. He would crawl on to my lap and beg me to read to him. We spent so many hours reading book after book after book. I could still feel his little arms around my neck as if he was right there. I closed my eyes and remembered how soft and warm his cheeks were when I kissed him. 


Jacob is the light of my life, how can I possibly go on without him? I began to sob. I heard what sounded like gunshots, they were closer now. Then everything went quiet. I jumped up to see what was going on. Everyone was running toward the gate, and people were crying and cheering. By the time I got to the fence, I saw the cops running up to the bloody body of the boy with the gun. 


Ashley was right by me, I heard her tell Emma that the cops have the shooter and she was safe. Soon after, the cops were escorting kids out and they were being reunited with families. I sat there, feeling empty knowing that Jacob would not be one of the kids being escorted out.


 I got up and tired to run into the school to find my son, but nobody would let me by. Soon, Emitt came running out and Ashley grabbed him and wouldn't let go. I have never seen him cry until today, my heart broke into a million pieces when he asked about Jacob. By the look on my face, he already knew the answer. 


He ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me and we cried together. A week later, my whole world was turned upside down. I was just going through the motions, trying to stay afloat. Taking care of my younger kids while trying to plan a funeral. My heart was shattered in a million pieces. My baby was gone. 


I stood in the shower the morning of his funeral, I hadn't eaten in days. I could feel the hot water stinging my skin, I was completely numb. I started seeing spots and feeling dizzy. Everything seemed to spin. Beep Beep Beep. I jumped up, and looked around in a panic. 

My alarm woke me, I was in my bed. I was confused as I jumped up and wandered out into the hall. I must have crawled back into bed. “We are going to be late,” I thought to myself. I could hear the shower running in the kids bathroom. I banged on the door and hollered, “Hurry up! We are going to be late!”I heard the water go off and then the door opened, Jacob peeked out wearing only a towel. “Gheez mom, I just got out, we won't be late,” he yelled.


Luckily for me, it was all a bad dream. I never had to bury my child, but there are families out there that have had to, and will continue to have to unless we make a change. We need to keep guns out of the hands of our children.