Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I can't remember the exact date when I first discovered your existence in this world. What I do remember is that it was a beautiful sunny evening when I turned on the radio and heard a voice that pulled at me like a magnet.

It wasn't the typical deep voice with a heavy bass sound which is common in radio DJs, no. Your tone, the timbre of your voice, the way you speak your words so eloquently articulate.... it was so captivating and soothing to my ears that I found myself so drawn to it. I held onto your every word that I could tell each time you smiled because it came through clearly in your voice. I was instantly hooked.

"Who is this dude?" I wondered to myself; impressed by what I was hearing.

Every day from then on, I found myself looking forward to hearing your voice on the radio that it became a ritual for me. Before long, I found myself falling.... for a voice. Yeah, crazy, right? I know. But I just couldn't help myself.

I didn't know anything about you apart from the name you go by on radio but it didn't matter to me as a little mystery goes a long way; so they say. 

Next thing I knew, I had developed a crush on you and in my mind, as twisted as this may sound; you are mine. Not in a creepy, stalker kind of way, but more of a deep affection  for a stranger who is not really a total stranger.

As years went by, I managed to learn a few things about you from your colleagues at the radio station. I did not pry but for some reason, those bits of information were made known to me. I wasn't supplied much; only the important details such as your name, and the fact that you were taken. I was thrilled to finally know your name but not too thrilled to know you were not available. Hey, I'm just being honest. 

These little discoveries got me excited even though I still had no idea how you looked like. Again, it didn't matter for by then I had already fallen deeper in love with your voice.

I couldn't tell anyone what was going on with me because seriously, who could possibly understand, right? So, you became my little secret. Those few short hours I spent listening to your voice on the radio each day became the highlight of my days. When I look back and think about it now, I can't help but smile because the whole time I was going crazy about your voice, you never even knew of my existence. Little did I know all of that was about to change.

It all happened unexpectedly one night in a club called Oasis. I went there with my brother, his girlfriend, my cousin and his wife, and "Invisible Man". My intention was to meet up with my old friend, Najee; a DJ who was spinning there.

At the club, after I finished my meal, I went to the ladies' room to freshen up. While I was washing my hands, a poster on the wall highlighting all the happenings that would be taking place in Oasis caught my eye. Curious, I began to read the poster and that was when I learned you too were spinning there. I never knew you were a club DJ too so that night I learned something else about you. I checked the poster to see what days you would be there and made a mental note about coming to check you out on one of those days.

After I left the ladies' room, I made my way to the DJ console to speak to Najee, only to find him busy cueing the music. He signaled for me to wait and so I stood by the side of the console. While waiting for Najee to be free, a tall, good looking guy stepped into the console. He had an aura about him that was impossible to miss.

"Well, hello there...." I thought to myself as I feasted my eyes on the beautiful view that had presented himself in front of me.

He flashed me a dazzling smile and said, "Hi, I'm Roundhead. Nice to meet you."

Whaaaat....???!! I couldn't believe my ears.

"It's HIM!!!! The Voice!!!" I thought to myself, screaming inside with glee while I tried to keep my cool  and contain my excitement. Honestly, it wasn't easy to stay calm and collected at that moment, not when I was bursting with joy.

I was finally able to put a face to a name and I was beyond excited. We spoke to each other briefly; long enough for me to check you out and liking what I was seeing. And then for the rest of the night, I was all smiles.

The next day, I anxiously waited for four o'clock to come so I could hear your voice on the radio again. Time seemed to move very slowly that day and I think I must have checked on the time every five minutes; that was how anxious I was. 

Finally, the moment I was waiting for, arrived. I wasn't sure what came over me but I felt a strong need to make contact with you. 

I whipped out my phone and typed out a quick text which read.... "Hi Roundhead, this is Zee. We met last night at Oasis. I've been listening to your show and it was great to finally meet you in person. I like that you always have clever things to say on air. Keep it up!" 

Yeah, I know. My message was pretty lame. But in my defense, I was nervous. Everybody gets nervous when they talk to their crush for the first time, right? I was no different. Anyway, lame or not, it was too late for me to do anything about it because in my excitement to make contact with you, I had pressed the 'send' button and within seconds, my text would have appeared on the SMS board in the studio.

I sat back and tried to relax my fast beating heart and over excited mind as I focused on the sound of your voice. I was doing a pretty good job at it as I felt the tempo of my heartbeat began to slow down to normal pace. But.... it didn't last long. The next thing I heard was your voice reading out my text on air, word for word. Yikes!!!! I did NOT see that coming!

I then heard your co-host, DD, making a remark about me needing to get my ears checked. Hah! Jealous cow! You, being the sweetheart that you are, did your part to defend my dignity. I wasn't offended by DD's remark as I was giggling away like a little girl. I was happy you had taken the time to read my text.

In my excitement, I heard my phone beep; signalling an incoming message. I picked up my phone to look at the caller ID but did not recognize the number. I opened the message and this was what it read.... "Hi Zee, this is Roundhead. Thank you for your kind words. I took the liberty of taking your number so I can thank you personally."
 
And that number that I didn't recognize? It was your phone number. It was your way of making sure we both had each other's number. That's what I call smooth.

Tonight, as I sit in my room after another three hour session of listening to The Voice on Rendezvous, thoughts of you is heavy on my mind. We have come a long way from way back then till now - more than a decade. Flashbacks of years gone by, snippets of private conversations we had, memories of times we spent together.... they all come flashing in my head like the running blue light of a police patrol car.

For a long time I have been trying to understand and make sense of things - why you make me feel the way I do for you. And at the same time, I was also trying to understand the workings of The Almighty - why He led me to you. 

From the moment I came face to face with you at Oasis, I felt like there was something familiar about you.... not about your face, because trust me, I wouldn't have forgotten your face had I seen it before.... but there was just something about you that felt so familiar to me which I can't quite put my finger on. I felt like you and I have known each other before.... in another lifetime maybe, I don't know. And as we got to know each other better, I noticed a lot of things clicked between us like pieces of puzzle fitting in place that some of the 'coincidences' were just too bizarre to be mere coincidences. Like, how often does one find someone with the exact same, unique nickname like "Zulu", but with a slightly different spelling? Coincidence...? I don't think so.

I have heard all kinds of definitions on Soulmates.... some are funny, some corny, and some, I can relate to. I think people are still trying to define that term. For me personally, I do believe each one of us were made with a match. Not necessarily someone who was made to complete you, but someone who is bound to you in ways that only The Almighty understands. Some people search their whole life to find their match and never succeeding in finding them. I didn't search for you and you didn't search for me. We were 'thrown' into each other's paths for reasons unknown to us.

After years of Soul searching, one thing I am sure of now is this.... you fill me up with so much. You lift me up, you keep me on my toes, you bring me comfort and peace, and most important of all, you made me believe in love again. You are like my oxygen. Without you, I am just an empty shell. 

Honestly, you are everything I have prayed for and more. Deep down, I believe you are my Soulmate, the match that was made for me. Because for the first time in my life, after meeting you all those years ago, I feel whole and I feel like I am finally home.