Category : Stories

Sub Category : Comedy

The most expensive meal a man will ever eat,True words are never spoken,All of the people reading.And this,My friend is what this story is about,Expensive Pussy.Not prostitutes..I'm definitely not a prostitute.now,you would think that since I do daily horror stories,i might not be able to do a storytime,But I got more than 50 of these stories and this is the beginning,a lot of bullshit happens to me,Which is the complete opposite of a good situation,I almost got hit by a car for the first time,Now..this is going to be completely different from my first school shooting because some of you guys might think that I'm a load of bullshit.But all these stories that has happened to me is real shit.Lets get into this shit cause I can guarantee that somebody is going to laugh their asses off.I got him,Readers,i fucking got him.This has happened to almost everybody,You either get caught by Pussy or dick,But I'm guessing this guy didn't think it would happen to him because he thought he had street knowledge and new rules to dating and those rules were "1:don't pick up the phone you knows she's only calling cause she's drunk and alone.2:Don't let her in,You'll have to kick her out again.3:Don't be her friend,you know your gonna wake up in her bed in the morning." by that I mean is he has been fucked over a lot,So he tends to be pretty smart,Those are his words.But all I had to do was get a little blood pumping in his dick and it swerved all the way over,and all that important things he learned from his street knowledge,Did not matter anymore for anything he needed to function as a dude and every boy out there,If he keeps it real with himself knows that this shit is true and every female out there REALLY knows that this is true.So this is how it happened,A while ago I was at a convention and I was in this business meeting because I wanted to become a YouTuber,i failed by the way.We were talking and discussing how my channel would be and all this other shit.This particular convention was a game convention at god knows where,I forgot.Now if you've been to a convention,You might know they have 3 hotels,The 2 hotels is where all the shit goes down..But most importantly,The first hotel is where all the parties are,Naked girls,Naked guys,Naked trans.Hotel #1 is where everything goes down to the ground.So I was talking to somebody about my future YouTube channel,Which,I didn't get a channel.And I see this guy and I walk up on him and I start to say "Oh,my god your ____"I'm not gonna say the YouTuber's name.I continue to say "I'm such a big fan of your content!"He takes 1 look at me,i looked good that night,He knows it,I know it,Hell, the Lord even knows it.I had a small stomach,My boobs were on fleek,My ass was on fleek.I had long hair.So the first thing that could've ran through his mind was "Bitch!Get out of here...Why you always lying,why you always lying,Mmm,oh,my god,Stop fucking lying"Becuase when I looked at him I noticed that I am the first bad bitch to come at you this way and I know its true..I mean he is somebody who makes dick jokes on YouTube and I'm interested in you?This could be your only shot to date a bad bitch.I ain't gonna try you,I ain't gonna play with your feelings,But I am gonna keep it real with you.So he completely swerved right and he was listening to me and trying to signal me to get the fuck away from him.But he listened to me a little to much because he might've thought I was full of shit at first and then I pick up on the get the fuck away form me signal and I say "Oh,I have to go,But I can give you my card."And I was very polite,Real cool.He took the card and put it in his wallet and I walked back to the person and the person said "I'm sorry..I can't make you a YouTuber,Your content would have sexual themes and I started to think "Da fuck..the youtuber I was just talking to makes dick jokes,I repeat,The YouTuber I was just talking to makes DICK jokes"But I let it go and i said "It's Okay,I probably wasn't meant to do YouTube videos.."I finished the convention.3 or 2 months later im in my room sitting on my bed and on my phone he hits me up on Twitter with at least 2-3 sentences and I give him my Skype and we start talking on Skype back and forth all the fucking time.I give him my phone number and we start talking for,like,4 hours a day and we are just talking about my dreams,How our day was,Just a bunch of Random shit.And now I had a boyfriend that I broke up with when I was 18,Right after me and him broke up,Me and this guy start chatting and shit,Shit got sexual,Really,really fast and I'm not saying normal sexual,I'm saying shit got bad,the hardest thing as a guy is to know if a girl is feeling you or not.But there was a lot of ways and shit that I let him know I was feeling him.No matter what joke he made,even if it wasn't funny I would be laughing my ass off and then there was the sex talk and shit got sexual as fuck over the phone and any guy who has been in a situation like this knows that if a girl likes you they start asking what do you do?A man asked me that and I said I do guys and then the guy ran,Jk..But it turns crazy sexual and that is what this shit turned into,We were speaking sexually,It was just crazy and sexual,i told him I love anal,giving head,Others out there would be like "Oh that doesn't mean anything" or,If you are keeping in real you would think "oh she's trying to get the D"And it got to the point where he said "What kind if guys do you like?"And,it definelty wasn't this bitch,I mean this YouTube is a goddamn Roach,And bitch when I say roach,i mean a damn roach..I'm just trying to keep it real with him,but if his dick is small I don't fuck with him..This was when I was 19 as a single mother because I got 2 kids and I'm gonna have a 3rd kid..But I described my kind of guy,My kind of guy is somebody that likes video-games,Is smart,Not a damn roach,Not bald,Not skinny-bone-Jones,Not fucking retarded,Not gay,Not fat,Big dick.I said a lot about my type and shit,don't blame me.and he claimed that he exactly my ideal type and I start to think "The roach has changed?..This is gonna be good"Me and him had everything in common and some shit...Again,we are talking just every fucking day,Hours and hours of us talking about Bullshit and he keeps talking about how he got 5 million subs and I say "Come to New york"After every signal he has thrown at me,my Billie bob brown ass bitch should bring my roach-head-ass over here and i says "I should but I lost my job and I don't have any money.."You see,This part of the story barely matters.It will come on to play later.This boy was open like pussy-lips and what I mean by that is he is s sucker for love.And almost all the stories I have ends up with me doing something bad to somebody I used to date,so get your popcorn and enjoy.To be honest I think that the whackest thing of dating is that women are titled as sluts and I do not understand how a woman can be a slut or whore for doing what you want her to do,Da fuck.So,im talking to the guy and even if me and him were dating,I only have conversations with boys I'm dating,i'm the least jealous person that you might be able to date but actually no because I'm married,Ready to give birth to my 3rd child.I asked him "When was the last time you had sex?" and he said "I can't remember,When was the last time you had sex?"And I was like "Oh..I'm a virgin"Which was a lie..I wasn't a slut,I dated this one guy and i ended up cheating on him,That's for another story.And then this Bald ass bitch had the nerve to congratulate me,i was mad but i didn't let it show.I was throwing signals that I was down to fuck.After a week of me throwing him signs and all that he says "Hop on a plane to new York" and im like "Well..I just lost my job and I don't have any money" and he says "I got you,i'll get you a flight"A couple of days later he asks "How much does it cost to get a plane here right now?"And I checked the price and it was some bullshit and the next day I was trying to get my ass out there,Not just my ass,But my whole body.So,I get to new York and he picks me up from the airport and I put on s short skirt On,I knew what I was doing.I got in his car and I'm sitting like "Bitch"And 3 or 4 times I said "Okay,im gonna stay at your place" and he said "I don't know you well yet,so, i can't right now..But ill get you a room"He gets me a hotel room,i stay there for 3 weeks because I had 2 plane tickets.I just remembered that if I were to talk about dating it would be about me and him.And in trying to let him know that I'm down to get dirty.I was ready to get on his Elmo..Okay,that just sounds children-like..Get on his Elmo?Da fuck.My pussy does not smell like rotten eggs,so I was glad.My boobs are pushed up and mashed together and all that bullshit and me and him go to a convention together.

That's the end of part 1 for this story,part 2 will be coming soon.