Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

I keep waiting for the ball to drop.
For the other shoe to fall and me to follow in its would be footsteps. 
I wait in a perpetually anxiety induced state, fearing, almost hoping someone will leave.
Because if they do, I'll know I'm not crazy, just too much to handle. 
And I'll continue to try as hard as my body will allow to bury that part of me. 
Dig a grave six times six feet under and pour cement for good measure. Nothing like some concrete to bury to concrete that weighs me down on an every day basis. But these people, I don't want them to leave, not really. 
No, what I want is for them to make a home with me. Get to know my quirks and become comfortable with them, easily. I don't know much about being comfortable because in this skin, I never have been. With this mind I've always been in awe with every facet, every flaw, I've managed to carry it all. 
And all the while I've loved myself, I still do. It's just that i constantly wonder when someone will live through it with me and who.  Other than god himself, on my worst days I don't know who can handle me, patiently. Not my friends and certainly not my family. If I were a package, I'd contain a note that says handle with care. A note that most ignore because being careful is a bore and life reminds them of a game based only on dares; what is caution needed for? 
What for? Fragile souls like me are over looked as meek, weak meat, whose sole purpose is to be devoured. Ever hear of soul food? 
What's worse is when I cave in on myself, all I see the cowardly cub that aches to grow into a lioness. 
But no, my mind works in ways that wrap ropes and wires, entangling me in their high strung mess. 
But a mess in pieces can still be a masterpiece.