Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Drama

My psychologist told me I needed a change of scenery, a new start. Why not? I had nothing left to lose. I stood outside this beaten up house I had just bought up in the northern Pennsylvania mountains. A big change from the bustling city life I had become accustomed to. Quiet and serene, maybe this would be good for me. Though the old home seemed out of place standing against the background of the wilds. Maybe that's why it spoke to me. It looked like how I felt, like we didnt belong.

I walked up the broken cobblestone path to the splintering oak door observing all the work that I would need to do to restore this home. Restoring the siding, the porch needed a new railing, all of this would be good "home therapy" for me at least, thats what Dr. Prature believed. 

As I was almost to the door I took my first step up the porch and it gave out swallowing my foot.

"You've got to be kidding me." I scoffed aloud to no one in my disgust. "Welcome home."

I turned the key to open the old door and entered my new home for the first time. To my surprise the inside of this home told a much different story. Though dusty, the decor was very much a beautiful reminder of the life this home must have lived before me. Nothing spectacular like a giant glass chandelier, but instead a nice small Victorian lower middle class energy flowed through the building. 

Maybe this wont be such a project after all, I thought to myself. A little cleaning and dusting and thats it. I'll deal with the outside later.

I decided to start in my bedroom, that way I could at least get my belongings in and if I got tired would have a place to rest. Dragging my suitcase up the stairs I thought I saw a beautiful woman standing there in the corner of my eye. But when I looked again nobody was there. Not the least bit surprised, Dr. Prature had told me I was in a state of constant mental trickery due to my depression. 

I continued down the hallway, passing the two smaller bedrooms, deciding to look in I had to ask myself,
"Why did I get three bedrooms? It's just me and that's not changing anytime soon." Then I noticed the beds were messed up but the rest of each room seemed untouched. "Strange." I thought. But continued on my way. 

Finally reaching the master bedroom I set my suitcase by the old reclining chair in the corner. Again I saw the bed was a mess but after straightening up the sheets I moved on. I moved to the bathroom to wash my face and collect my thoughts as the old quiet house was pushing my subconscious into its old habits again, and I could not get that beautiful woman out of my head. 

The bathroom was much the same, dusty and old, however the mirror standing over the sink had not one speck of dust nor a single strand of web on it. "How is that possible?" I wondered aloud. "It's as if someone has been using this mirror while the rest of the house collected dust." I finally got to washing my face after the silly distraction, and when I looked back into the mirror I nearly jumped out of my skin seeing another man behind me just outside the bathroom door in my bedroom. Spinning around nobody was there, and back in the mirror they were gone too. "I'll finish the cleaning up here and after a quick break take care of downstairs." 

It took several hours but I finally got the entire upstairs in order. The beds all made, curtains dusted and drawn to allow more light into each room. I was able to see the wood floors still had their protective shine under all that dust. Cleaning my new home filled me with a sort of tranquillity. An inner peace that I had never experienced before, or at least not in a long time. Perhaps it was because I wasnt allowing my mind to wander. Perhaps it made me feel like a child helping his mother with the spring cleaning, a feeling I had not felt in years since she passed. Honestly however I knew it was because Dr. Prature was right, the idea of a new beginning for me was finally setting in and I liked it. This feeling of being alive again. I had to call him and let him know.

I pulled out my smartphone and quickly realized that service was not the greatest in the mountains. Not terrible but also not the perfect reception I had become accustomed to in the past. Regardless, I placed the call.

"Dr. Prature's answering service may I take a message?" I didn't realize it was after hours.

"Um, yes. Could you please tell Dr. Prature that this is a Michael Rayven Peterson, he asked me to keep him updated on my treatment away from the city." I shyly left the message. Not being able to speak directly to him took away some of the excitement.

"Is this a good call back number if the doctor should choose to get back to you?" The operator asked.

"Yes." I replied.

"I will relay the message Mr. Peterson, you have a good rest of your evening." 

"Thank you, you too." I hung up and let out a sigh of disappointment. Like always when something happens to make me feel anything other than the numbness I have learned to embrace, there is nobody to share it with. 

My phone rang almost instantly after that thought ran through my head.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello, Mike! It's Dr. Prature, I understand you have news on your outpatient treatment I recommended? Good news I hope." He sounded as happy as ever. I think thats what made him such an effective psychologist.

"Yes sir, I moved to the mountains for some fresh air like you reccomended and today was moving day." I began.

"That's great to hear! I'm glad you took my advise." He responded cheerfully.

"I actually just finished cleaning the upstairs and wanted to let you know that in doing so I actually began to feel happy again. I think this restart and renew thing is working!" I excitedly told him.

There was a slight silence before the Doctor finally broke through more somber and serious this time.

"That is exactly what I wanted to hear from you, now here is the hardest part. You can't clean forever. Eventually you will need to find another way to raise your emotions and keep them elevated. You need to increase your self image, your pride, your motivation, get back out there into the world and find yourself someone who loves you as you should love yourself. Simply put you need to find yourself. That doesn't happen over night and it doesnt happen gambling at the casinos hoping to win it all. I sent you there for a new start yes, but that is not accomplished until you discover who you truly are. Do you understand Mike?"

"I do." I said feeling almost crushed.

"I don't mean to say you haven't done good, you have felt serenity for the first time in a while so soon and that shows promise. I just want you to know it will not always be this easy." He continued.

"I understand, thank you doctor." I replied.

"And Mike," He started back in his uplifting original tone. "Don't forget to eat and treat yourself occasionally. You'll find that that helps too." 

"Thanks, I will. I'll keep in touch." I told him.

"Save this number, it's my personal cell so you wont have to worry about going through the call center again. Take care Mike." He responded. 

After the phone hung up I realized while talking to him I had walked back out to the porch. The fresh, crisp, evening air felt good in my lungs. Dr. Prature may have said I had a long way to go and that it wouldn't be easy but it was definitely a start. I walked back inside and saw there was only the kitchen, dining room, living room and foyer left to clean up. I found an old radio in the living room and tuned it to the radio as I cleaned the rest of the rooms. By the time I reached the dining room my stomach rumbled and I swore I could smell the scent of fresh homemade, what was that? Lasagna? I obviously wanted italian for some reason so I ordered a small pasta dish for delivery from the local italian restaurant. As i cleaned, and got closer to the kitchen, the smell got stronger and stronger. I finally made my way to the oven where I could feel heat radiating and the smell was at its strongest. I opened the oven puzzled but it was off, and the heat and smell vanished. Again in the corner of my eye I witnessed another figure. This one looked bigger than the last two, not obese but also not fit either. But again when I turned to get a better look it was gone, this time all that was there was a curtain in the kitchen which must have caught a draft.

"Creepy old house, I'll make you mine yet." I announced.

Just then there were knocks at the door. I went and opened it to find the delivery guy standing there.

"Oh thank god." He started.

"Hello, how much do I owe you?" I started, then paused "What did you mean thank god?" 

"Sorry sir, this house had been abandoned and occasionally we would get prank calls for delivery here. It's just nice to know I didn't come to this decrepit place for nothing again." He paused, "No offense sir." 

"None taken, she's not much to look at I know but yes I live here now and if this food is really good you may be coming back more often with deliveries." I joked.

He seemed relieved that I didnt take offense to his comment regardless i payed for my food and gave the young man a tip.

"Thank you sir." He said and we parted ways.

I went to the dining room and ate my pasta, radio still playing a nice alternative rock station in the background, it didnt smell as good as that mysterious lasagna I smelled earlier but It made due. I made a note and put it on the fridge reminding me to get ingredients for lasagna, and decided to call it a night.