Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

When I was born, his parents were not even married yet. The process of his existence was not even mapped out yet. He wasn't even a tiny dot in his mother's womb. But I have existed.

When he started his first day at grade school at seven years old, I was already in my fourth year in high school. By then, I had traveled to Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia and Australia. When he was just discovering and experiencing life in grade school, I had already discovered and experienced different cultures and different way of life in different countries.

When he was 16 years old and in his fourth year in highschool, I had already graduated from twodifferent colleges and had started working. At 16, hanging out after school at the local McD's of his choice with his school buddies, oogling at the bunch of high school girls that hung out there too, sending out his love note sprinkled with talcum powder to his crush, writing on the bathroom walls of that McD's 'so and so loves so and so', getting his first taste of puppy love.... I've been there too. I remember getting my love note sprinkled with talcum powder from a boy who had a crush on me at 16. I remember how nervous and embarrassed he was when his buddies laughed and made fun of him when they caught him trying to sneak his love note to me without being seen. At 16, I remember I didn't make it easy for him. Instead of trying to save him from being embarrassed in front of nosy, prying eyes, I held his love note in my hand, clear and open for all to see. Yes, I was once young too.

When he was 29, I was 38. He was living life in the fast lane and was at the top of his game. I had slowed down the pace of my life and I was on a journey of rediscovering me. When he came to me after his break up with his girlfriend, I lent him my ear, offered him my shoulder and tried to comfort him the best I can.

When he was 39 and met and hooked up with his high school crush; the one he wrote that love note sprinkled with talcum powder to, I saw he was feeling on top of the world. He said, "it was meant to be." Was it really? I saw the deceit and manipulation in play, the endless mind games and the continuous drama. I saw her pulling on his heartstrings to suit her every whim. I saw him doing his utmost best to please her, to win her over. I saw him making sacrifice after sacrifice for her. I saw him put up a brave face when she laughed at him for being too "emotional and sentimental" and I saw her stomp on his heart with her 5 inch stilleto heels before she tossed him aside like a useless piece of garbage. I saw him hurt and in pain yet he held his head high with dignity. I saw it all and my heart bled for him.

A few months after he turned 41, I saw his high school crush came crawling back to him with crocodile tears in her eyes, asking for his forgiveness and for another chance. I saw him take her back.

Doesn't he see what I see? What everyone else sees? Doesn't he see that this is another one of her games? Doesn't he see that she hasn't changed, that she's still very much that spoiled brat Princess still sitting on her high horse? Could he be that blind to her faults? Or could it be that love had made him blind?