Category : Books-Non-Fiction

Sub Category : Biography

* PART 2 *

Doris and I found a nice spot to chill underneath a shady tree overlooking an old brick studio that was built in the 1960s which is no longer being used. The old rundown building gave me the creeps. It was surrounded by tall heavy leafed trees and by the side of the building were two outhouses which were also no longer in used. I have heard about the FINAS complex being haunted but how far that was true, I had no idea. We sat on a wooden bench under the tree and made ourselves comfortable. Doris reached in her bag and took out an unopened pack of Salem cigarettes while I took out my pack of half finished Marlboro reds. As we smoked, we talked.

Doris turned out to be quite a chatterbox like me. From the short half and hour chat, I learned that she was the eldest of four girls, she lived in SS3, Petaling Jaya; about 15 minutes drive from where I live, and I also learned she has a control freak and a racist for a mother. She did most of the talking while I sat there and listened. From the way she spoke, I felt she had a lot of things bottled up which she needed to let out. 

"I am 22 and I've never had a boyfriend," she said quietly. 
I darted my eyes to look into hers and the reflection I saw in them was one of pain.

"How come?" I asked, encouraging her to unleash her thoughts.

"Look at me," she sighed, "who would want to date me?"

I looked at her face. What I saw was someone who had been really hard on herself. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you," I said honestly.

"Zee, you are either blind or you are way too kind. I'm ugly, I'm big sized and I'm not stylish. Guys only want pretty girls," she said. The tone of her voice was a mixture of anger and frustration.

"Hey, if they are looking only to date pretty young things, then you don't need guys like that. Guys like that are shallow. There's more to a person than just a pretty face and if they can't see that in you, their loss." I tried to assure her. She didn't say anything but from her facial expression, I could tell she wasn't buying it.

Doris has always been treated like the black sheep in her family. Her mother has always put her down; calling her an ugly duckling and telling her she'll end up being a lonely old spinster for no man in his right mind would want to have anything to do with her. She has always been compared to Shirley; her sister after her, who is slim and pretty and their mother's favourite child. No matter what Doris did to win her mother's approval, it was never good enough for her mother. She never gave up though. She kept trying to please her mother anyway she can. However, the constant putting down had been torturous to her soul and she was looking for a way of escape. The Film Academy became her hope for an escape. And the interview later will determine her fate.

After we finished smoking three sticks of cigarettes each, we went back to the classroom to wait to be called in for the interview. I was called in first and Doris  asked me to wait for her till she's done so we could ride the bus home together.

We were sitting in a cafe in the middle of Kuala Lumpur city, eating roti canai and drinking iced coffee. After  we were done with our interview, we decided to hangout somewhere to get a bite to eat as well as to continue our chat. I could tell Doris was in no rush to get home and I could also tell she needed someone to talk to. I was more than happy to hear her out.

"How was your interview?" I asked her.

"It was okay," she said with a  laugh. "I just hope I said the right things. I kinda bluffed my way through."

"Well, you should have seen the look on their faces when I told them I wanted to be a cinematographer! They were tickled," I said with a grin. "Then when Hafsham asked if I think I can carry the heavy camera and lights on my own, I knew they saw right through my bluff."

"So what did you do?" she asked, grinning. 

"To save face, I put on my poker face and told him not to underestimate me because of my size. I said, 'I may be small but I'm strong.' I got all three of them laughing at my comeback so who knows, maybe that bluff might just work in my favour."

We chatted till about 7:00pm. We then exchanged phone numbers before we parted ways and promised to keep in touch. 

A couple of weeks later, I received a letter from the Academy. With trembling hands, I slit the envelope open and pulled out the neatly typed, officially written piece of paper. I don't know why I was feeling nervous, but I was. I unfolded the letter and made a quick scan of the content. When I saw the words "pleased to inform you", I smiled and read the letter slowly. I made the cut. I was told to report to the Academy on the first week of January 1989 for registration and to start my new chapter as a student in the Film Academy. I was thrilled and excited. I thought of Doris. Has she got her letter? Did she make the cut too? I picked up the phone and called her.

"Hey Doris, did you get a letter from the Academy?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well...?"

"I got in. You...?"

"I got in too."

I could hear the relief and excitement in Doris's voice. I knew the acceptance from the Academy meant more to her than merely being a student there. With classes to attend daily, future assignments to work on, she would be out of her house most of the time. This was the escape she was looking for. An escape from continuous verbal abuse from her mother. Knowing how huge this was for her, moved me. I made it my mission then to help her restore the self confidence she had lost in herself. One way or another, I was determined to make her see herself through my eyes. She's a beautiful soul and I was determined to make her see that and not listen to the noise she's been hearing at home. I figured, I had three years to accomplish that. Shouldn't be too hard, right?