Category : Books-Non-Fiction

Sub Category : Biography

And I think before going deep in to the miracles, I just want to add up some crucial things about us, like I said, am waiting, counting the days, to reach the day with my star. Yes, she’s from the neck of India and am from the tail of it. Contrasting states though, but the feelings and love, universal. The Internet is the modern day mediator between hearts and it is fast too, but I don’t know we never needed anything more than text, and the most fascinating thing about life is even thousands of peoples nearby, but still heart starves for a soul that lives on a faraway land.

We started as a friends, and still friends, but she’s more than anything else in the world for me, and she knew that pretty much well than any other. Even in this agile world, e-kisses, e-hugs, e-mails, and several e’s came in to use, but here am writing letters, poems, quotes for her, dreaming of her voice, yearning for a chat, decorating the gap between us every day with planting seeds of joy, so then when we talked towards each other the path will be covered with purple blossom gardens, so dramatic every day, hoping she’ll feel that one day. I feel like am living in some 1400’s where the princess longing for the prince charm, writings letters, a long wait, folks do smirked at my life whenever I disclose, but they will never get to feel what am feeling now. So wonderful wait is, it has the ability to teach us the worth of peoples, the beauty of their presence, and also gave us lots of time to dream. I sometimes feel like an old soul, like a reincarnated Orpheus, and she’s my Eurydice, a modern day nymph. And a good dreamer like me, always fantasizes the wait, the time to build the castles of thoughts and harvesting the beauty crops of love.

Told a lot about my situation, portraying how I met her like a single epiphanic moment is of no use in my case, but constant ephiphanies every day, every day I meet a new part of her that has everything to make me freeze in happiness, and love. I will take you to a point from where my life started, started to end.

 

16th October, 2017.

Madurai.

It was a dusky evening, on my island of thoughts and there’s one boat hit the shore with the bike roar, a friend of mine came to break the solitude. Vibe, my argument partner, never convinced him in my life, that’s obvious an introvert can never able to convince an extrovert.

 

‘Am really getting bored Vibe, when you’ll really head to Australia?’

‘Sure this academic year, Srini’

‘Look dude, I still remember the weekends you torture me to prepare along with you for that stupid IELTS, don’t ever waste that days’

‘Ha-ha, you made a good company Srini, glad I cleared that’

‘Yea, am glad too. Or else I have to travel back and fro for you, really glad, and am planning to come to Australia sometimes using you, the snowy winters, Opera building and everything’

‘Still, am feared to study abroad. You know, the wolf creek, the cold blooded murders, the pedophiles, creepy right. And imagine empty streets, here you can’t find even a small passage without faces’

‘And that’s why I hate being in here, really want to settle down on some other country, less peoples, beautiful things happen on streets instead of peeing, independent life, new faces, fresh air, that’s life man. No space for donkey dicks and bull shits’ I rested my total heat on India.

‘Whatever you say, India is the safest in my view, at least we value love and family more than them’

‘Ha-ha, yes because everything happens behind the walls here, dangerous dude, get out soon’ mocking him again.

‘To earn, Australia. To live, India, how’s my dream?

‘FUCK!’

‘Yea, that may be on both’ and he always proves me why opposite poles attract each other. So hilarious that moment. The Laugh diverts the argument easily. This is what I am, Srini, who Loves Sea and snow, not donkey dicks and bull shits.

 

After some laugh, I tried throttling the next round,

‘At least, they have the freedom of their own body’ we smiled at each other.

And a vibration, phone alerted.

 

Over the years in relationship with my phone, its sound never pleased me, I even tried the melodious tones, and nothing worked. Out of 100 calls, I attend only 2, and that 2 totally depends on my mood. Again ruining the conversation, but it is one of the two calls I get to attend. It’s another buddy, Joe.

 

‘Hey stupid, where are you?’ this is how I start with him, with a broad smile.

‘Srini, you wanna see her right. Come over. Near the market’ and the phone abruptly disconnected.

‘Hey wait’, ‘stupid he should buy Jio’ I yelled at myself. All the cheek mountains that created in the last hour melted in the sea of memories, and within a flash of seconds, I pictured her, a blurred image, almost forgot her face over the years. It was an old love, an old crush, I don’t know why that’s still bothers me.

 

I pulled the bike keys from vibe’s pockets, and ran to the bike.

‘Hey Srini, I will come too’

 

I was puzzled, and roared the bike to reach Joe. I did everything not to see her in the past two years, avoided every functions, to avoid even a single probability, avoiding the possible routes, and even her marriage. Right now, I have no love for her, no tear left to spare, but still something bothers me. I just drove without any thoughts.

 

And after half an hour, I came back to my home, with the puzzled face, and I saw a miracle. It’s Vibe, still waiting for me, I just can’t control my laugh at that moment, ‘WTF, he’s still waiting for me’ told myself. And the melted mountains regained to bulk up under my eyes.

With the unstoppable laugh,

‘Dude, you’re..’ Even before I could complete,

‘Psycho, Where the hell you gone’

 

He’s a cool fellow, but am so bad that day.

 

‘But you’re so loyal, still waiting for a friend’

‘Where the hell I can go, give me my keys dude?, tell me what’s happening?’

‘It’s Joe, I just went to see her, but missed, as usual’

‘First, I should kick his ass, for informing you this, you should move on, it’s like decades before’

‘Come on Vibe, am not heartbroken anymore, it’s that stupid thought, am great actually, inside’

‘Whatever, hey don’t forget that we have to set up the terrace garden tomorrow, am leaving bye’

 

And soon after he left, I received a call from Joe, I let my melody play for a bit time, ‘Fuck off’ said to myself and threw the phone on the bed. Some say memories makes us happy, but in my case it made me strong, indeed very strong inside, that no belief or feelings could shatter me.

And when the time I drove the bike to see her, I never went anyway near to that location. I stopped midway, the last time I tried this was a couple of years ago, same scenario, at that time, I have few pinches of love left within me, but couldn’t able to see her. Ended up in the terrace that night wailing with dreams and pitiful memories, those days and nights of tears, anxieties, it took me several years to rebuild myself, now am strong.

Instead I took a different route and drove to the Ice cream parlor, and made a tasty memory with two scoops of blueberry without giving a fuck to phone calls and feelings or anything. Just me and myself. And that night I smiled and understand that there’s always a better alternative to love and stupid useless feelings about others. All those beliefs, feelings, emotions never made sense from that moment.

 

Story continues…