Category : Stories

Sub Category : YoungAdult

Dear diary,
 
Today was an atrocious day.
 I woke up pissed about the hellish reoccurring nightmares. I woke up pissed that I woke up. I lay in bed crying for a while. The school day seemed to go by apathetically. I get to school late, I fail to get any work done, I run from one class to the other, taking the long way hoping I wouldn't see him. That's what these days have come to now. Constantly in fear. Everything I do now is out of my own cowardice. I decide to skip 8th period in the everliving fear that I'd see him again after the last bell. I leave campus after 6th period and walk home.
The heat quickly gets to me, blending sweat with the tears already set on my face. I stop and set down my things to take off my jacket for it is too hot to wear. As I'm stuffing my jacket into my bag, I see an object brightly contrasted from the dirt. It moved along right past my shoe as if it was waiting for me to move first. In the sun it was an emerald with hints of a yellow tint. It crawled so gracefully with such entitlement to the dirt  beneath it. I wanted to touch its smooth surface. How shiny and clean it seemed to be for such an animal. What a beautiful sight it was! I watched the suns blurred reflection move across its body as it scurried. It seemed to not care that my colossal being towered over it. I placed my shoe in its path to gain its attention, it stopped, observed, then inattentively steered around it and kept moving. I curiously followed it, but it seemed to be going nowhere. I kneeled by the curb to watch. It's antennas twitching with seeming excitement, its movements like the wild animal it is. It stopped occasionally to check out a rock or spade of grass and continued to aimlessly roam around. But why? Why would this beautiful creature torture itself this way? Does it not by instinct have any purpose? Oh but it walks as if it had all the time in the world. Its non awareness letting it be care free. We intelligent earthlings wouldn't dare to do such a thing. We don't recognize carelessness for the world is visibly crashing around us. If it were aware of the world around it, it would probably be going somewhere to do something. Like us humans, who realize that life is short fleeting and rapid so we live our lives depressingly busy. Not this little creature. This happy little emerald is filled to its little brim with stupidity. Walking around doing nothing all day. A happily brainless piece of shite. Maybe it's trying to tell me what was angering me about it. The key to happiness is stupidity. I stand up and creep over the dumb little earthling. Standing as tall as I can be. Maybe trying to prove an insignificant amount of dominance over it. I observe the creatures beauty once again. The green and yellow tinted surface of it's exterior. It was so small it could fit into the palm of my hand. Shiny like an emerald. Natures priceless gem. I bend down and carefully touch the smooth surface of it. Disturbed, it quickly tries to scurry away from me. I follow it with my eyes and snatch it up with a swift movement of my hand. Slowly raising it from the ground, I bring it up to my eye level. I wonder what it must be like. To be so clueless and helpless. It could be what I feel everyday. It could be the simplicity of toddlers brain. It could be what this creature is experiencing right now. I raise the emerald to the sun. Its little useless legs are squirming in every direction trying to get away. I slowly lower it to the ground, instead of setting it in the grass and releasing it, I place it under the tip of my shoe so that the top half of its body is out. Putting enough pressure upon it to hold the creature where it was positioned. It can struggle all it wants with it's little pathetic legs, but it can no longer be free. This is how our worrisome world works. With the tip of my shoe,  I apply more pressure until it's legs stop squirming. I bend over to see it under the end of my shoe. I start to crush it, hearing a crunch of the hard exterior caving in, watching the icky soft insides spill out into a small area of the dirt. i crush it completely flat and pivot my toe on the creatures remains. it isn't so beautiful anymore. A few visible metallic like green flecks lay spread out in the guts and dirt like glitter. Its head had separated from its body. I fucking hate beetles.