Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Words can’t describe how I feel for you. Tears can’t begin to fill the left empty pace for you. Honestly, you saved me in a few ways. Sometimes, I wish I could just give you praise. 
  Except we don’t talk anymore, it causes me pain in the middle of my core. My heart is constantly sore. I only want you more, and more. 
  Some of the things I like most about myself, are because of you. I know you’ll never know, but you helped me through everything I was going through. Just having you there, when nobody els would care. 
We were just the perfect pair. 
    We weren’t a couple, though I wish we were. You were like my brother, but that’s over; and you can never be compared. I’ve complained and cried about guys before, but you were there first. My break ups were painful, but losing you, was just the worst. 
  I know for a fact that what I felt, and feel is real. I may always have to act, and conceal. It’s been 7 years, and I still haven’t managed to heal. 
   Maybe I’m obsessed. But you were, and are my first love. The one person who I could never get enough of. 
   Ever since I lost you, I’ve been in search, of someone to replace you. But that’s just never gonna happen, no matter how much me, and someone els have passion. If I could only have one redo, I’d like to cash that in. Cause all I want is you. 
   I still see you on social media, sometimes I wish I had amnesia. Maybe I wouldn’t  feel like this, cause I wouldn’t remember. But I never wanna forget that we met and all our time spent together. I’ll always have a spot for you, forever. 
   I try to make an effort, but I always feel pressured. You reply to me too, but I just feel like I’m bothering you. I think you only reply because you’re just a nice guy. I don’t want to seem desperate. So instead of saying what I wanna say, I just delay; and get high and remember how I was rejected. 
   I feel like you humor me, acting interested, and then going back normal. Saying yeah to hanging out again, I’d remind you about our plans, but I don’t want to come off forceful. 
   People say to seize the day, and that you’ll regret not telling someone your true feelings. 
   Well I made the mistake of taking that risk, and fuck what they say. 7 years later, I’m still having a hard time healing. Nobody warned me about the price that I’d pay. I know I was young, but obviously it wasn’t just lust. You are honestly the only guy I can, and will always trust. 
   It’s possible that I would have told you eventually;  if I had known the outcome though, I never would have. I’d be thinking more rationally. 
   my exact words were “I’m in love you with you.” little did I know, what those 5 words would do. I thought there was something there, I still think there was. But I don’t need to be in a relationship with you, I just miss us.
   Sometimes I think that the few people that know this, think I’m over exaggerating; cause I’ve written and cried about heartbreak before. The past 7 years have been exasperating. I feel like I’ve died inside, always feeling like breaking down, and crying on the floor. I could write about this endlessly, I wish our friendship would restore. I just miss you terribly. I just want you, nothing more.