Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Comedy

Chapter 2

London and Victor's pods are heading towards the planet. They land in the middle of the desert. "Thirteen years since I was last here and it's plain looking as shit." London says. It's when the transportation arrives. It's a black muscle car. London and Victor get in. London starts driving the car through the desert. Victor turns on the radio and plays come with me now by Kongos. "I'm getting the sense we're ripping off something called border something, I think it ends with lands." London says sarcastically. "So how's it feel being home?" Victor asks. "Asks me that if we happen to go to the town I was born in, but knowing this Phoenix's inhabitants? It's probably a pile of rubble now." London says. "Wow man... That's really sad when you think about it." Victor says. "It's fine Victor, I didn't have much before I got kidnapped, except my mother but she was always away doing either Demon Hunting or other things." London says. "No dad?" Victor asks. "Not that I would remember him, mom never even mentioned him... Jesus I might as well be a Super hero with the dead or missing parents cliche." London says sarcastically referencing every super hero ever. London drives into town. "We're a few miles away, we still have an extra hour to kill." London says as he sees a prostitute. London parks next to her. "Hey my buddy Victor here is looking for a good time, give that to him." London says as he hands a hundred dollars to her. "London you son of a bitch." Victor says. "Hey you wanted it and you're gonna get it, I'll be in bar across from here." London says. Victor sighs and gets out of car and follows the prostitute into a building. London gets out and heads into the bar. London stands across from the bar waitress. "Hey hot stuff, what's it gonna be?" She asks. "Simple but strong." London says. "Coming right up." She says. A blonde rouge looking girl around his age. "Hey." London says confidently. "Not interested." She says. "Well that didn't last long." London says. "I imagine you're in the same in bed." She says. "Okay you win." London says. She just laughs slightly. "Name's Athena." Athena says. "London." London says. "So what brings you here?" Athena asks. "Just here on business to trade." London says. "This town is popular for something like that." Athena says. It's a guy with a afro and a bushy mustache. "I recognize that uniform you're wearing boy, you're Cerberus, you shits ruined this planet." He says. London and Athena turn around. "Hugo? Are you seriously trying to start a fight?" Athena asks. London stares Hugo up and down. "What's the matter boy? Cat got your tongue?" Hugo asks. London sighs. "You look like an extra from a low budget porno flick, and I mean the kind where everyone gets tested, even the camera man." London says. Everyone in the bar is snickering from what London said about Hugo. Hugo is about say something but London cuts him off. "Also BOY? You sure aren't hinting at the fact that you're a racist." London says. Hugo is speechless. "Yeah? Well you're-" Hugo tries saying but London cuts him off again. "Also what the fuck is that hair? It looks like a nest for every type of sexual disease, oh who am I kidding? that's what you're pubes are for, and I can tell just by looking at you that you're pubes look like Osama bin laden's beard." London says. Hugo tries to punch  London. London dodges and stabs Hugo in the hand with a knife which holds Hugo's hand in place. "Let me tell you something Hugo, I might be Cerberus, but I am nothing like the people who turned this planet into a pile of garbage that you call home." London says as he takes the knife out and leaves the bar and sits on the hood of the car. He's cleaning his knife as he's doing this. He sees Victor walking towards him but slowly. "You alright?" London asks. Victor justs gets in the car. "Okay then." London says as he gets in the car and drives. "So wanna tell me what happened?" London asks. Victory turns his head to him. "I got fucked in the ass!" Victor says in anger. London's eyes widen. "Wait she's a-" London tried to say but Victor cuts him off. "A man? Yeah I Knew after I had a dick up my ass!" Victor says. London is speechless. "Victor I will do anything you want to make you forgive me, I never meant for that to happen." London says frantically. "It's fine just forget it ever happened." Victor says. The rest of the drive is just awkward silence like two people that like each other but don't know what to say. "Sooo...." London says. "Yep..." Victor says. It's when they are stopped by a group of a dozen bandits. Victor gets out of the car, pulls out his pistol and headshots four of them in a row. "Okay... Future notice, don't mention Victor getting fucked by a prostitute." London thinks to himself. A bandit tries to stab him. Victor counters and rolls on top of him and shoots three more without looking. Victor takes the knife and stabs him multiple times. Victor stands up, he turns around and shoots while in the motion and gets a headshot on the last guy. "Found it." Victor says swaying his gun in the direction where the meeting is supposed to take place. London grabs the case and walks with Victor inside the building. "So... Feel better?" London asks. "Better." Victor says. They walk into what seems like an endless hallway. It takes them three minutes to get to the end of it. They are next to a door. London tries to be a cool action hero and kick the door down but he hurts himself trying to do it. "Ow shit!" London says holding his knee. Victor tries to open it. "It's locked." Victor says. "Dammit, okay let's search for a key, it's bound to be around here somewhere." London says. "Why the fuck would they set a meeting in a place where the way of entry is locked with a missing key ?" Victor asks. "It's retarded." London says as they are spooked by a hideous looking guy which his face looks like it was mutilated. Before he could say anything, London hits him with a nasty right hook which knocks the guy out. They see the key on him. "Oh... Shit... He had the key on him... Now I feel like a piece of shit." London says. London and Victor look at each other. "We should probably give him something to make up for the fact you knocked him the fuck out." Victor says. London pulls out a golden pistol. "This is the only thing worth while I got." London says as he puts the gun on his chest. "Come on let's this over with." Victor says. London and Victor open the door and walk into a room with half a wall missing with who they assume is September with some random chick. "Hey your actually on time, that's a first." September says. London and Victor walk up to them. "What's the password?" August asks. London and Victor groans. "I love brown cock." Both of them say. "Jeez this Hernandez has an ego." September says. "You have no idea, but let's get this down and over with." London says as he sets the case of money on a table that's between both of them. "I'm September, I figured you knew that already and this is my girl Kim." September says. "You guys got the key?" London asks. September puts a case on the table and reveals the pearl like Demon Key. London reveals the money. "Goddamn, that looks more than three trillion." September says. Kim looks around looking paranoid. "Is she alright?" Victor asks. "What are you talking about? I'm completely fine." Kim says very quickly. London and Victor stare at her in confusion. "Um right so... Is it a deal?" London asks. "Kim are you alright?" September asks. "Can we get this over with?" Kim asks with attitude. "Look you guys have been cooperative but Hernandez said he'd be the one who meet us but I get you two guys, I'm sorry deals off for another day." September says as he takes the Demon Key case. London grabs his wrist with aggression. "What do you think you're doing?" September asks with attitude. "I'm about to give you the twelve month bitch slaps." London says as he gets ready to slap him. "September! October! November! December! January! February! March! April! May! June! July! And finally August!" London says as he slapped him twelve times, September's face is swollen and he passes out. London takes the Demon Key case. "I'm taking this Demon Key, weather you like it or not." London says trying to be a badass but Athena starts laughing hysterically in the present. "What?" London asks. Athena is crying of laughter. "That... That story is such filled with horse shit that it's too funny not to laugh at... But seriously that story is filled with horse shit embellishments." Athena says. "What happened exactly?" The stranger asks. "Oh yeah now I remember what happened, Athena here was the main reason the deal went to shit in the first place!" London says with attitude. "Oh come on! You had part in it to!" Athena says. "Oh yes, I had like ten percent involvement in the deal going to shit!" London says. The stranger shoots the shotgun in the air and causes London and Athena to look at the stranger. "Enough! Athena now tell me what exactly happened?" The stranger asks. "Well after the Demon Key broke-" Athena tries to say but London immediately cuts her off. "Wait wait wait wait, you're skipping over some important details Athena, and stranger danger here specifically said to go in explicit detail." London says. "Ah crappp." Athena says annoyed knowing that London is right. "Okay I'll explain everything in explicit detail as London says, but let me start at the beginning." Athena says.