Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Comedy

A man wearing a black digital camo swat armor walking around a desert while holding a tracker. He stops and looks around. "Athena?" He asks. He waits for a response but gets nothing. "Come on! We can work our issues out." He says as he rubs his head from the sweat. He continues to walk. "Ugh this is getting so dull, I hope something exciting happens soon, I don't care what it is." He says in his head. It's when the tracker goes off like nuts. "Huh? That's strange, should of been a build up to it." He says as he turns around to a figure covered as if she or he is hiding their identity. "Okay based on your look, you're either Athena or a band-" he tries to say but the person knocks him out by hitting him in the face. He is knocked out. "Bout damn time I found you." The person says as they tie the person they knocked out with black leather. The person drags him to an abandoned town, Athena is tied up to a pole. "So you actually found hi- wait what did you do to him?" Athena asks. The masked person ties him to another pole next to Athena. "Knocked him the hell out." The masked person says. "With what?" Athena asks. "With the butt of my gun." The masked person says. "Wow, just wow, I thought London was tougher than that." Athena says. London wakes up suddenly. "Okay who knocked me the fucked out!?" London asks. "Hi London." Athena says. "Hi Athena... Wait what? How'd you get here?" London asks. "Captured but didn't get knocked out." Athena says. "Okay what the hell? Why are you doing this?" London asks. The masked person sits in a chair. "I'm the one asking the questions, what do you two know of the Hydra project?" The masked person ask. "Is that what this is about? Look that shit nearly killed Everyone who was involved in that situation, so we're not gonna just-" London tries to say but the masked person points the shotgun at his face. "I'm not a very patient person, so just start talking London." The masked person says. "Then why I'm I here?" Athena asks. "I'll get to you eventually, but London, tell us your side of how you got involved." The masked person says. "Alright." London says. *Past*
"Well it all started out with a promotion, up in the space station called the Ark which was honestly funny considering the place was filled with every type of asshole you can think of. but my job was being security, shit hardly happened, but due to some unfortunate events, there was an opened spot at commander. I with help of a few friends, we had a chance to change our lives for the better." London says adding some context to his story. "London come on." Victor says. Victor is London's best friend, a sarcastic gun for hire, pretty much London but with no hair and shitty goatee. London is walking next Victor. "What's the first thing you gonna do as commander as security?" Victor asks. London gives a smirk. "Fuck bitches get money." London says sarcastically. "Same." Victor says sarcastically. The both of them are just outside their boss's office. "Hey London, we had to do a lot of horrible shit to get you, I still have nightmares about some of them." Victor says. "I still remember trying to make Jerado's death look like an accident, there was a lot of blood and... Urine.... And shit." London says reciting the horrible time he had trying to kill Jerado. "Ah God get on with it." Athena says in the present. "Hey it's my story, shut up." London says in the present. "Hey man, go get it, we'll be meeting with Caroline afterwards for dinner." Victor says. "Yepper see ya man." London says as he enters his boss's oddly large office with a view of the planet Phoenix. "Sir?" London ask. "Have a seat Pyrce I'll be with you in a second, no I wasn't talking to you, look bitch if I'm talking to you then I'm talking to you... Since when was your first or last name Pyrce? Oh whatever see ya fuck buddy." London's boss says but London doesn't recognize the voice. London walks up to his boss's desk. His boss turned around and London now recognizes who it is. "Hernandez Brown, fucking when did you become the main guy?" London ask. "Bitch just recently, sit down so we can get this done and over with." Hernandez says. "Actually I'd prefer to stretch my legs." London says sarcastically. "Oooh okay you think you're being cute?" Hernandez asks. "Bitch I'm adorable." London says sarcastically. "Well look I Know why you're here and how you got here." Hernandez says. London remains silent. "Well to be fair, you do deserve that promotion so that's why I am promoting you to-" Hernandez tries to say but he suddenly gets a call. "Hernandez it's September." September says on the phone with the speaker on. "Oh September, I'm kinda busy so can you-" Hernandez tries to say but he gets interupted again. "Are you buying this Demon Key or what ? Because I-" September tries saying but Hernandez puts the phone's speaker off and holds it against his ear. "How'd this happen so quickly I thought I had more time?" Hernandez says. It's silent for a couple seconds, "yes of course I'm still interested, look if it's a trillion dollars then I need another hour or two." Hernandez says. "Demon Key? What are you planning Herny?" London thinks to himself. London looks at the phone he's using. "Mk 4 jet, a generation behind the current model, should be easy to hack even for me, don't fail me now Omni tool." London thinks to himself as he begins to scan the phone. London transfers the conversation into his earpiece. "Look, get the three trillion dollars here at the Pearl Dawn in two hours and we'll exchange got it?" September asks. "Okay yeah I might send some guys to do it for me but if they say the password I love brown cock then that's them." Hernandez says. "Jesus okay I got, just don't keep me waiting more than I have to." September says. "Don't worry I kept your mom waiting and she was satisfied." Hernandez says as he hangs up. London puts away his Omni tool. Hernandez walks back to him. "So... What were we talking about?" Hernandez asks. "Oh I don't know, maybe something about a Demon Key?" London ask sarcastically. "Oh a Demon Key? What you hear that from me?" Hernandez asks with attitude. "Ah right you're promotion, you worked hard enough to be... Janitor." Hernandez says. London is surprised. "What? No you can't be serious." London asks in disbelief. "I'm the boss now London, I do whatever I want." Hernandez says. "A commander is needed for security, who's the guy who got the promotion instead of me?" London ask. "Old man Jenkins." Hernandez says. "Are you Shitting me? That guy shits his pants more then you act like a dick." London says in defiance. "London." Hernandez says as he headbutts London. London falls to the ground with a bloody nose. "I'm your boss now Pyrce, get used to that. That was lesson number one, don't make me say lesson number three before lesson number two." Hernandez says. "Don't say it, don't fucking say it." London says as his stands up and leaves the room. "What the hell happened?" Victor asks. "I just got screwed, I'm not commander, old man Jenkins is." London says. "Are you Shitting me? That guy wasn't even in security during our time as security guards." Victor says. "It's bullshit!" London says as he kicks a trash can across the hallway. It's a guy in the eye. "Ow! My eye!" He says. "Sorry bout that!" London says as he turns to see Caroline. "Messi was an inspiration to me to." Caroline says sarcastically. "Oh hey Caroline." London says. "You look pissed, did you not get the promotion?" Caroline asks. "Old man Jenkins got the promotion." Victor says. "Who?" Caroline asks. "Exactly it's such horse shit no cut that, it's actually elephant shit, large disgusting elephant shit." London says. "So who's buying then?" Caroline asks trying to lighten the mood but it fails horribly. London justs walks past her. Victor and Caroline follow him. "Hernandez can't get away with this." London says. "Wait Hernandez?" Caroline asks. "Wait where's Mason?" Victor asks. "I don't know, Hernandez didn't really say, only that he recently got the job, but that's not all I got." London says as he plays the Audio he got from Hernandez's phone. "A Demon Key? Well that's surprising even for Hernandez, what's the plan London?" Victor asks. "We go down to Phoenix and take the Demon Key for ourselves, Hernandez said that the holders are wanting three trillion dollars, Caroline you're in accounting aren't you?" London asks. "Already done." Caroline says. "In and out, I like it." Victor says. "In your dreams Victor." Caroline says. "Okay we just need some weapons, a car for transportation when we hit the ground." London says. "I can help, go get the cash, I'll give you guys passage to go to Phoenix." Caroline says. "Oh Caroline, have a bot on standby just in case me and Victor get into trouble." London says. "Knowing you two? it's a requirement." Caroline says sarcastically. London and Victor go to the armory and get changed into black swat vests and black pants. "How much time do we have till the deal happens?" Victor asks. "Two hours at the most, why do you ask?" London ask. "Oh nothing." Victor says. "You're looking for a booty call aren't ya?" London says. "Yes." Victor says. "Well this is Phoenix we're talking about so you might get what you're looking for." London says. Victor stares at London. "What?" London ask. "How long were you on Phoenix?" Victor asks. "Up till I turned fourteen." London says. "Right, so you knew what a booty call was at age fourteen?" Victor ask. "Dude it's Phoenix, it ain't earth back the early nineteen hundreds, hell I lost my virginity just a year after I hit puberty." London says. "Dude I didn't have sex till I was twenty and I hadn't had sex since then." Victor says. "Aren't you thirty nine right now?" London asks. "If you make a nine year virgin joke I swear I will castrate your balls with a rusty kitchen knife." Victor says. "You keep rusty knives?" London asks. "No just the one." Victor says. "Let's just get in the damn pod." London says. Both London and Victor get in separate pods. "I'm gonna get you back Hernandez, just like when Luke Skywalker got back at Darth Vader when he chopped off his hand." London says as he and Victor's pods begin to make their way to Phoenix.