Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

There have been times in my life when I thought I was done with finding my idea of the 'perfect Love' - the kind of love that completely blows my mind and sweeps me off my feet. Years passed by and meaningless relationships made me believe that my idea of the perfect love only exists in romance novels and movies but not in reality. That is, until I met him.

I couldn't believe how easy it all came together and how he took an empty heart and put Love back into it so effortlessly. My heart has been hollowed out by the hands that touched me before him and I swore nothing could ever grow there again. Then he came along and proved me wrong. All of a sudden, life began to sprout in places I didn't even know had feelings. It overwhelmed me; this newfound discovery. And at the same time, it also frightened me for I do not know what to do with it or how to handle it. It all seemed too good to be true and for a long time, I actually feared him. Scared that this could be another one of life's cruel tricks playing a sick joke on me.

I spent years going back and forth with many questions. I prayed for signs, for answers.... but with all the cobwebs in my head, it was hard for me to see clearly. Or perhaps, I was too scared to open up my heart to really see. Finally, I made a conscious decision to do some real soul searching. I needed to seek clarity for my own sanity. Question is, where do I start to look? 

I knew I needed guidance in this for this isn't something I can do on my own. Too many cobwebs, too much insecurity, too many questions, too much second guessing. Help is needed so desperately; not from another human being, but from The One who is all knowing. With my strong faith in Him  I decided to leave it all in God's hands.

This Love that was awakened inside of me was not a coincidence. It was a sign for the answers I had prayed for. But with the acknowledgement, came more questions. 

Why him?
What makes this different from all the other times?
Why now?
What makes him different from all the rest before him?

I still don't have all the answers, but I now know this much.... God had chosen to put him in my life for a reason. What is the reason? I have no idea and really it doesn't matter. What's important to me right now is remembering what's important.