Mission At The Old Hotel
Read Count : 131
Category : Scripts
Sub Category : Plays
Author's Note: I have to write a short scene for a play for an assignment in one of my classes, so I was hoping to get some feed back on it, since its the first time I've ever tried to write a play Setting: Two and Nine are agents tasked with gathering information on an infamous Mob boss. In a dimly lit hotel hallway just outside of a large metal vault-like door, Two is leaned against the wall next to the automatic door lock, impatiently waiting. Two: (as Nine walks to stand next to her) Really, you're wearing that? Nine: (voice muffled by ski mask) what do you mean? I thought it was supposed to be a stealth mission, you know recon and stuff. Besides shouldn't you hiding your face? I haven't disabled the cameras. Two: Take that thing off, we have people undercover as surveillance agents, doesn't matter if the cameras see us. Now get to work on this lock. Nine: (taking off mask) Can't you do it? I thought we had the same sort of training. Two: I'm not with the recon team, I'm supposed to be with the combat units. Nine: (takes out a small tablet and plugs it into the door lock) What's a combat agent doing on a mission like this? Two: To make sure everything goes smoothly. Nine: Why wouldn't it, thought we came here to just gather some information. Two: The boss didn't tell you? Our target tends to keep his secrets closely guarded, even the undercovers haven't been able to find out much. I doubt we're getting out of here without some kind of fight maybe we'll even have to eliminate him ourselves. Nine: Isn't that counter productive? I mean the agency isn't even supposed to exist. Wouldn't a fight draw too much attention from the public? Two: There's fighting here every other week, so the noise won't be anything out of the ordinary. Besides, if anyone sees us, I'm sure the agency can deal with them. Nine: Still, I don't like the idea of outright eliminating the guy, we don't even know how much of our current information is accurate. Two: No one keeps secrets as closely as he does without something to hide. Are you almost done with that lock? Nine: (unplugs his device from the lock as the door slides open) I finished a while ago, but didn't want to interrupt the conversation. Two: Whatever, let's see what the target's hiding. They both enter the vault-like room and start to search it. Two: Find anything important? I've only found some old court documents. Nine: Nothing over here, can I see those Two hands over the documents Nine: This really isn't much to go on, these are mostly for weapon, drug, and money laundering cases. Nothing outside of what you'd expect from someone in charge of a criminal organization. Two: That's it, from what our informate was going on about I expected at least one or two more serious charges. Nine: Maybe he just was never caught. Mob boss enters Mob boss: You're damn right I was never caught Two: (takes out a gun) I'll give you thirty seconds to explain what's going on and come quietly or I pull the trigger. Mob boss:(taking out his own gun) Did you forget? You two are the ones who broke in, you don't get to make demands. Nine: How about we skip the shoot out and just forget that we saw each other. Two: Better idea, let's just eliminate him now. He's already admitted to murder, the only question is how many and who, but that doesn't matter right now. Mob boss: I have my men surrounding this place even if you kill me, you won't get out alive. Two: I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you. The sounds of a gunfight are heard from outside Two: Now, are you going to come quietly? The mob boss starts to pull the trigger, but Two shoots him first. Two: It's over, let's go. Nine: the boss isn't going to be happy, we didn't really learn anything new. Two: I guess we'll just have to explain the situation very carefully Nine: if you're so confident about facing him, then by all means, you first.
Comments
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Overall, you did a good job. But if i were to suggest anything, it would be to establish the time of day this scene was taking place and maybe even give a clearer description of the hotel instead of just saying "in a dimly lit hotel". As for the characters, Two, Nine and the Mob boss, maybe you can describe each of them more to give a better picture of the characters. Other than that, it's all good. All the best!
Feb 05, 2018