Mission At The Old Hotel Read Count : 131

Category : Scripts

Sub Category : Plays
Author's Note: I have to write a short scene for a play for an assignment in one of my classes, so I was hoping to get some feed back on it, since its the first time I've ever tried to write a play




Setting: Two and Nine are agents tasked with gathering information on an infamous Mob boss. In a dimly lit hotel hallway just outside of a large metal vault-like door, Two is leaned against the wall next to the automatic door lock, impatiently waiting. 

Two: (as Nine walks to stand next to her) Really, you're wearing that? 


Nine: (voice muffled by ski mask) what do you mean? I thought it was supposed to be a stealth mission, you know recon and stuff. Besides shouldn't you hiding your face? I haven't disabled the cameras. 


Two: Take that thing off, we have people undercover as surveillance agents, doesn't matter if the cameras see us. Now get to work on this lock. 


Nine: (taking off mask) Can't you do it? I thought we had the same sort of training. 


Two: I'm not with the recon team, I'm supposed to be with the combat units. 


Nine: (takes out a small tablet and plugs it into the door lock) What's a combat agent doing on a mission like this? 


Two: To make sure everything goes smoothly. 


Nine: Why wouldn't it, thought we came here to just gather some information. 


Two: The boss didn't tell you? Our target tends to keep his secrets closely guarded, even the undercovers haven't been able to find out much. I doubt we're getting out of here without some kind of fight maybe we'll even have to eliminate him ourselves. 


Nine: Isn't that counter productive? I mean the agency isn't even supposed to exist. Wouldn't a fight draw too much attention from the public? 


Two: There's fighting here every other week, so the noise won't be anything out of the ordinary. Besides, if anyone sees us, I'm sure the agency can deal with them. 


Nine: Still, I don't like the idea of outright eliminating the guy, we don't even know how much of our current information is accurate. 


Two: No one keeps secrets as closely as he does without something to hide. Are you almost done with that lock? 


Nine: (unplugs his device from the lock as the door slides open) I finished a while ago, but didn't want to interrupt the conversation. 


Two: Whatever, let's see what the target's hiding. 


They both enter the vault-like room and start to search it. 


Two:  Find anything important? I've only found some old court documents. 


Nine:  Nothing over here, can I see those


Two hands over the documents


Nine:  This really isn't much to go on, these are mostly for weapon, drug, and money laundering cases. Nothing outside of what you'd expect from someone in charge of a criminal organization. 


Two: That's it, from what our informate was going on about I expected at least one or two more serious charges. 


Nine:  Maybe he just was never caught. 


Mob boss enters


Mob boss: You're damn right I was never caught


Two: (takes out a gun) I'll give you thirty seconds to explain what's going on and come quietly or I pull the trigger. 


Mob boss:(taking out his own gun)  Did you forget? You two are the ones who broke in, you don't get to make demands. 


Nine:  How about we skip the shoot out and just forget that we saw each other. 


Two: Better idea, let's just eliminate him now. He's already admitted to murder, the only question is how many and who, but that doesn't matter right now. 


Mob boss: I have my men surrounding this place even if you kill me, you won't get out alive. 


Two:  I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you. 


The sounds of a gunfight are heard from outside


Two: Now, are you going to come quietly? 


The mob boss starts to pull the trigger, but Two shoots him first. 


Two: It's over, let's go. 


Nine: the boss isn't going to be happy, we didn't really learn anything new. 


Two: I guess we'll just have to explain the situation very carefully


Nine:  if you're so confident about facing him, then by all means, you first. 

Comments

  • I like it but you may want to make Two a little more violent to give him/her a bit character Example: "Just pick the **** lock" perhaps without swears? But a little more of a strong personality would help

    Feb 05, 2018

  • Overall, you did a good job. But if i were to suggest anything, it would be to establish the time of day this scene was taking place and maybe even give a clearer description of the hotel instead of just saying "in a dimly lit hotel". As for the characters, Two, Nine and the Mob boss, maybe you can describe each of them more to give a better picture of the characters. Other than that, it's all good. All the best!

    Feb 05, 2018

  • I actually did enjoy reading this a job well done

    Feb 11, 2018

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