Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

As humans, we tend to learn from our mistakes, and if we are of a more intelligent version, we can learn from other people’s mistakes before making our own. The one problem with that is that if you only learn from other people’s mistakes, you wouldn’t spend anytime actually getting the rush from uncertainty in which life is meant give you. It’s lessons learned. 

To give an example of how I see it, if I swim or get in the ocean there is a slight possibility that I might encounter a shark. Now, I have never met a shark, and will make part of my life’s work to be relentlessly consistent in that endeavor. Why? Because my chances of getting the shark in a Bob Backlund “Cross-faced chicken wing” are slimmer than the cursor on my screen. So, 200,000 plus years of evolutionary DNA that resulted in a highly advanced brain, capable of logic and reason at my disposal tells me to stay out of the deep ocean, or if found in one, closest to the shore as I safely can.

The risk and reward of life. 

That is what drives every decision we make. Now, some people will try to convince you that some risks are not what we take them as. “Well, 90% of shark attacks happen in shallow waters.” Yeah, no sh*t, because that’s where the people are. Majority of people are frolicking amongst the shore line, you idiot. Stop and rethink your logic. You spent time trying to sound smart that you overlooked the fact of the matter. Let me assure you, I surround myself with such people and you want me to trust your ability to make decisions that influences or jeopardizes my life? Nah, I’m good. I’m sticking with my gut. You just go back to eating my all my Doritos and drinking the beer I put in the bottom of the cooler for a reason. Because my gut tells me even though your gut isn’t very hungry now, it says that shark is.

Common sense isn’t all that common. The older we become, the more we trust ourselves and our own intuition, because so far it has kept us alive. Just because the next guy is still alive, doesn’t mean he has the life experience or common sense to make it through his next “I’m gonna be on YouTube again” moment. It also doesn’t mean the next time he runs into the ocean of life, sunscreen on his noise, high-stepping and arms flailing, with evidence of a once full bag of Doritos on his fingers…that somebody hits the record button. Then, before his 15 minutes is up, with little respect or regards of the risk, a starving lesson with 30 rows of unforgiving teeth aren’t there to remind us of his last lesson. It just happened to be “Shark Week” should’ve stayed out my Doritos. Food for thought. Get yourself a plate.

You live and you learn. That’s the high risk. A little extreme, I know, but there are little instances in life that they make you uncomfortable in regards to reluctance and fear. Those happen to be the ones that change our outlook on life. They give us those moments that help shape who we ultimately become.

Now, before I get back to my initial point, a very interesting thing just happened. The ones that remind me to thank my Creator, and his ongoing effort to teach me gratitude and responsibility. Just before I finished my last section. I, as I always do, debate whether or not to take the time to save my work or keep going while the ideas are firing and creativity is honed in. After a few seconds of immature debating I said “What the hell, let’s save it. This is good stuff.” I kid you not, as I spent 20 seconds wresting with the cord to charge my iPad, the new app I downloaded(Adobe Spark, which I am actually amazed with) crashes. Now, not surprisingly, this happens quite often to me which in return creates anger, frustration, irrational outbursts and a bunch of other emotions that end up ruining my day along with a sincere apology to the dog. Because of these lovely moments I have learned to give more effort towards patience and understanding, recently in regards mostly to things I cannot control. I’ve also geared some of it towards things that I could’ve had control over, but didn’t give the effort necessary by ignoring the signs. Which can result in a similar, sometimes even worse outcomes.  The signs you ignore can ultimately become the ones that cause the most damage. That’s just the universe imposing it teaching methods on you. You come to learn that a lot of the frustration and blame that you placed on the wife, your Creator, your dog, etc., once realized, will transform itself into another form of energy. Energy you can use for more productive and meaningful purposes.

Don’t ignore the signs. The problems of the world, that affect you, always lie within you first. It’s when you develop the courage, you can then except the path to a solution. That brings clarity to a clouded mind and opens up space for the more meaningful ideas to be born. You can not ignore the signs in your life. They are always there, it’s whether or not you choose to ignore them or confront them. If you ignore them, they do get realized in time, during reflection and they can result in feelings of disappointment, leading to guilt. These are sometimes called the “I knew better” moments, “What was I thinking” moments or worse the “I’ll never forgive myself” moment. Now, if you noticed right there the last one was left as lone reflection. Those are the ones I hope my words can help others avoid. They are the lessons that hold you back from ever experiencing similar moments of happiness, prior to the regret, in order to never feel the guilt again. They are a form of disease. It’s very rare that you’re able to fix a situation the way it could’ve been fixed in the present as opposed to in your future. Though you may have a better understanding by then, it doesn’t prevent the snowball effect of problems it creates. It’s like waiting too long to rake the leaves in your yard in the Fall(Autumn).

Mistakes exist so we may learn. Learn to admit to them. So, that in return we experience how it feels to be humbled by forgiveness. When you do, it heals you, and gives closure through forgiveness to anyone affected by your poor judgement. It doesn’t make man a failure to make mistakes. His mistakes lie in not coming to terms that he is incapable of being perfect. As we all are. We are all born sinners. Thus we were mean to forgive as well. Don’t be the one who is left on their death bed with regret in their heart. As the look in your eyes only hurts the loved ones around you as they know your pain, but in no way can help you now. Don’t let your last offering to the world be of such a selfish nature. The truth always catches up. As for so long you can lie about the truth, until the time comes that within you only lies the truth.

The biggest regret that I’ve been burdened with is that ignoring the signs, which can affect people close to you and hurt them. Then that’s where the guilt comes in. Consequently, you never get a chance to go back to show you’re sorry enough, to help realize each other's wrongdoings, or even worse being that they aren’t around anymore to have the opportunity at another chance . To make things right. To get your closure.

Guilt will stay with you forever. We are our own court of law. We know when we’re guilty and when we are innocent. Regrets aren’t subject to our man-made concept of “innocent until proven guilty.” In life you’re stuck with your own judgment and usually it comes with a life sentence, if guilty. Good behavior or not.