Category : Diary/Journal
Sub Category : N/A
(Yes this is a part of my actual life... I m not proud of it, but if I'm gonna be real with y'all then here you go... Enjoy my suffering.) Middle school drama can sometimes be a bit worse than high school. Especially when you develop a crush on your best friend. This year I just started 8th grade and was gonna be turning 14 soon. As I started to think about how old I was gonna be I started to think about all the friendships I had made and destroyed, still have or faded from. But one stayed strong through all these years, even though we might not always get to see or talk to each other, that just makes the time we do have together even more special. And in realizing how special this friendship was to me I started to see all the sweet little things he has done for me over the years that I just dismissed as a little helping hand. As I started to see him a bit more because our schedules crossed this year I took what little happiness I could get from him at that moment in time. He always had that effect on me, being able to make me smile whenever he wanted just by giving a little smirk, or a wink. (Sometimes the occasional hug or compliment) I like to say he's the one that keeps me sane... Which is partially true in some aspects. But others he just drives me insane! I think he new this before I did... That I liked him... Because when I finally told him, he rejected me... Then right when he was gonna say why, I told him I didn't care because whatever it was it was his opinion and didn't have to explain it to me. Now almost halfway through the year, he tries to explain to me again and I refuse to listen. I tell him I don't care, when in reality its tearing me apart. I tell him its fine because I know that he has a girlfriend. He looks at me real close, then tells me to stand up. So I do. "Give me a hug... " he says, so I do. After a few seconds I pull away and he looks at me and says that he didn't even have a girlfriend at the time that I told him. So I shut down again and don't let him speak... He tells me to stop cutting him off but again I'm telling him I don't care. He then looks at me real concerned, and turns and walks away. After that I try to write a note to give to him asking to explain his reason on paper so its easier for me to process without being hurt to bad... I never gave it to him... Now all I can do is sit and wonder about a thousand things running through my mind Untill I can try again on monday.
Comments
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Sweetie, I applaud you for sharing your story. That takes a lot of bravery to do - to open up and expose your vulnerability. On the flip side, you are just 13 going on 14. What you are experiencing now is what is known as "puppy love". It's a natural phase that ALL teenagers go through. Because of your young age, you have not had the experience to grasp what it really takes to understand what a romantic relationship is really about. Right now you are in the process of discovering and learning. It is part of growth. My advice to you is this - don't take these feelings you are going through right now too seriously. You are still young. Have fun and have lots of friends. The more you mingle, the more you will learn. The time will come when you will feel that you are truly ready to go on the next chapter - when you are older and can understand the workings of a romantic relationship better. Until then, relax and enjoy being a kid. Trust me, you are gonna be dealing with far a lot more drama later on in life so don't burden your young self now with these unnecessary drama. Just a sisterly advice from someone who understands what you are going through.💜
Jan 27, 2018
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