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Yesterday I was in a relationship but today I woke up single; a thought I slept on last night broke it. it’s a positive thought though, cynically positive but I am thankful to it because it freed me, it granted  me freedom  from something I thought was perfect to something I believe is awesome, something I believe every woman that value self-respect should do. Most us women believe we are or have been in perfect relationships when truth is most of our love stories involve us being stupid, as we usually ignore our common sense, lock up our better judgement and throw away that suspicion that pleaded with us to look at situations as they are and flee from relationships that will distort our life. We mostly ignore our self-respect and pride ourselves to be perfect girlfriends when in reality to the other person we are nothing. We refuse to fuss, we refuse to fight, we fear to initiate break ups and shape ourselves into whatever our apparently partners need. By doing such we become submissive which doesn’t make us perfect but worthless. We set ourselves to default “perfect” and try to do anything to please people that don’t care about us at all, we ignore the problems attached to us trying to be perfect and focus more on making the other person happy forgetting that our happiness also matter, every time we think of walking away we whisper to ourselves to stay and make the other person more happy. As long he is happy then there is no problem. The intention is not really to control the guys we date but we don’t realise that we are purposefully putting aside the real part of us in order to keep a wrong relationship going, which is sadly wrong! We waste a lot of time and energy trying to appear and become a perfect girlfriend; you cook for him, buy him gifts, wash his clothes, send him sweet messages every day, give him Bae check-up calls every day; you make him your priority, without realising that you are giving soo much of yourself to a person who gives you nothing in return. What you need to realise is simply that the apparently love of your life is not on the same page with you, stop taking his I don’t love you’ I don’t care about you’ attitudes as a sign to do more. When issues such as cheating arise; don’t try to prove there is still a chance to try, walk away for good. Stop playing the role of girlfriend to a person who doesn’t even look at you as a girlfriend, being the perfect girlfriend no matter what the status is (whether he is interested in someone else); you are being faithful to a guy that has stopped giving you loyalty a year or month ago. Its soo sad when a man has turned you off soo many times yet you still remained nice, soft or even worse: still available. Stop embracing stupid thoughts like; maybe it’s my fault he is acting like this, maybe one day things will change, maybe one day he will love me; such thoughts are negative! Throw them away. Think of yourself as a valuable woman, and stamp such bad habits with an expiration date. Be 100% you. Not being a perfect girlfriend doesn’t mean you are a bad one, it simply mean you are being yourself, you value yourself more than you value the other person, you are just being a loving partner to whoever fits you, whoever value your worth, whoever appreciate your presence in their lives. Changing your schedules to fit in unplanned visits to a person who will treat you like trash after that visit will only destroy your confidence as a woman later. Value your own happiness in a relationship, focus on building a relationship with a man who simply love all of you, not just your cooking, and your laundry tactics. Even if the world label you bitchy; it’s better to be that than to be like those dogs; those dogs that keeps coming back cringing and wagging their tails begging and hoping things will be different even after they have been kicked and chased away. Focus on achieving you goals, empower yourself as a woman till you don’t have to automatically fit in your schedule dates or visits to guys that don’t value you, be that fearless open woman that can make decision on her own without considering the reactions of a man that doesn’t appreciate her. Be smart; value yourself!