Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Drama

Chapter 11 


 The rain was really coming down outside. I paced back and forth staring out the big picturesque window as the rain pounded against it. These days I lived in my bathrobe, my eyes were red and swollen and the dark circles seem to have taken up permanent residence under my eyes. I felt like I was slowly unraveling with each day that passed without seeing David and Drew. I spend a lot of time in their beds, I smell their pillows and then I cry. This emptiness inside me is unbearable. I drink wine to take the edge off, but really I drink so I pass out. I don’t want to feel this pain any longer.


 Lauren was back and forth from her house to mine, checking in on me and making sure I was eating enough. Soon, her visits became less frequent. I didn’t notice at first because I was so lost in my own misery. After one whole week without hearing from her, I decided to reach out. Maybe she got tired of me and my constant crying, or maybe she was fed up fighting with me to eat something. Worse yet, what if something was wrong with her or her kids. I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt as I heard the line ring...and ring. “Hi this is Lauren, you know what to do...beep”. I tried to leave a message, but instead I stumbled through my words then just hung up. I sent her a quick text letting her know that I missed her and I hope everything was okay. Just a few moments later she replied, “Hey Mik, I didn’t know how to tell you this with everything that has been going on, but I met someone. I have actually been seeing him for some time now. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew it was real. We are in love, Mik. I hope that you can be happy for me.” As I read her words I felt the room start to spin, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Of course I was happy for her, but I felt terrible being so caught up in my hell that I never asked her how she was. “Oh sweetie, I am so happy for you. I have been so consumed with finding the boys that I didn’t even think to check in with you, for that, I am sorry.” I hit send, but what came next felt like a punch to the gut. Everything in my life had been turned upside down and now this? I read her words many times trying to make some sense of it. “MIkayla, I am leaving. I am taking the kids and we are moving to the East Coast. He has a little house in Boston, and frankly, it’s time for a fresh start.” Her words were so cold. Had we really come to this? Lauren and I have been friends for a lifetime. We told each other everything, we were there for the births of our children, and just like that, without any warning, she’s leaving?


  I couldn’t reply, I had no words. I was conflicted. I wanted to be mad, I wanted to tell her that she was so inconsiderate for meeting someone and falling in love. How dare she do this to me? Then, I felt like shit because, what kind of friend doesn’t even care to check in on her best friend. Although, my kids were missing. You think that my best friend could empathize with that and not hold it against me. I was there for here when her husband passed away. I held her while she cried for hours in my lap. Now that I think of it, maybe she’s running because this was too much pain for her to bare, maybe it brought back sad memories she wasn’t willing to relive. So, I just sat there staring at her words while trying to find the right thing to say. “Lauren, I love you, I always will. I am sorry that I have not been there for you lately. I understand that you want to take a chance at love  again and have a brand new start. Maybe when I get my boys back I can come visit. Can we plan dinner and I can meet your boyfriend before you leave?” I must have fallen asleep waiting for her to reply, I was woken by the incessant vibrating noise my phone was making sitting on the glass coffee table. 



  I saw Alex flashing up on my screen as it continued to ring. I jumped up feeling a little groggy, “hello? Alex?” I mumbled. I clumsily reached for my glass of wine I left on the table and I took a swig and cleared my throat. “Hi”, Alex spit out. ”I can’t talk much but I wanted to check in with you, how are you feeling? Is Lauren taking good care of you?” I am not sure if it was the sound of her voice or the fact that she mentioned Lauren, but I began sobbing. “Mikki, hey are you ok? I am sorry I don’t have any news on the boys, but I promise I will find them” Alex barked. I took a deep breath and another sip of wine, “She’s gone” I whined. “What? Who’s gone? Who do you mean?” Alex asked. “Lauren, she’s met someone and she moving to Boston!” I yelled. I continued to fill her in on my most recent conversation with Lauren, then I remembered I was waiting for her text. I pulled the phone away from my ear to check my texts. I didn’t have any new messages. That was weird, and so unlike Lauren. “Hello? Mikayla, where are you?” I heard Alex yelling through the phone. I forgot for a moment that she was still on the line. Alex informed me that she had to go but she would be in touch, The moment she hung up the phone I felt so alone. I wanted to just curl up and die. I walked towards the boys room, each step felt like my feet were attached to bricks. Soon, I fell into David’s bed, pulled his pillow to my face and in the fetal position, I drifted off to sleep.