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Once you start pretending to please people around you, you are no longer in control of your actions. Something inside you is begging you to stop, to awake and be yourself again but you are tired of being the only one to resist, their lies and fake smiles so you decide to give up.If you are unable to change or make a difference about something so just go with it ,they taught you once. It wasn't easy for the first time, but when you get used to it you start lying and faking smiles “spontaneously”.it's natural, you know, we people are made to lies and stab each other in the back.