Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

"I am scared again. Seems I get spooked easily these days."

"What are you scared of?"

"That I've been fooling myself, reaching out for something that's not really there, blinded by an illusion created by my own imagination."

"Think hard and think very deeply.... do you really believe what you're saying?"

A pause. 
A long pause.


"Well?"

"I don't know. I'm confused."

"Why?"

"Because.... I always feel that I'm being made to wait, being forced to take the backseat to someone else. It's always someone else.... someone else that gets everything."

"Everything...? Like what?"

"Time, attention, devotion, affection.... and if I'm lucky, I'll get the remnants, the leftovers of whatever that's left."


Another pause.


"Tell me, when you say that you feel what you feel for whom you feel.... where do you feel it?"

"In my heart. In my Soul. In the very core of my being."

"That's three different places. Are you saying that they are all deceiving you?" 

Stumped silence.


"And tell me this, when you say all that you say to whom you say them to.... where did those words derive from?"
"From my heart. From my Soul. From the very core of my being."

"Those are the same three places. Are you saying that you're deceiving yourself?"

"No, I'm not."

"Now tell me this.... when you say that you feel what you feel from whom you feel.... where do you feel it?"

"In my heart. In my Soul. In the very core of my being."

"Do you still think you're being deceived?"


Stilled silence.


"What triggered this fear and confusion?"

"A gut feeling."

"Do you trust in whom you trust, believe in whom you believe?"

"I have looked into those eyes, I am too familiar with the voice, I have studied the heart, and I have explored the Soul. It wouldn't make sense not to trust or believe."

"Then there's only one thing for you to do...."

"Take a deep breath and take another plunge in?"

"You can do that, but first you need to trust yourself. Trust what you hear in the voice and believe the song."


Exhale.