Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

My joy has been restored. Locked up tight in my heart. 

Yet I'm still searching for my reward. I don't think I need one. So where is the best place to start?

Do my dreams still matter to me? I hope so. What else do I have to fight for? 

My brain is disengaged, at least that's how it seems. 

My spirit is no longer enraged. So now I just need to find my inner motivation. 

Where is my self-loathing? It's gone! Finally. 

Now, the time has come to try again. Be my own friend. I'm no longer lonely. Now if only...

I wasn't so worried, about what my life will be. My mind is alert now, seeking a reprieve from the misery that used to engulf me in sadness. 

It's so easy to pretend to smile, harder to do the actual action. It seems so fake. I don't want to be this way. So what can I do to change things?

It starts within myself. I have to try. There's no other way. Why is this so hard? I used to have drive! Passion for what I'm doing. Now I'm just lost. Searching for something to propel me forward. 

Where did that joy go? I had it at the beginning of this. Now, it's floating away, forever out of my reach. 

I hope that's not so. I miss the happiness. Even if it only lasts for a little while. 

So I'll seek out that genuine smile, hoping it comes in a true fashion, before it's too late, and it disappears for always.