Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I got to know Steve in the year 2000. He was one of 18 pen pals I had back then. Born and raised in West Virginia, he now lives in Tampa, Florida.

When I first knew him, he was a son to an elderly sickly mother, an older brother to a sister, a father to a daughter, and a grandfather to a grandson. Those were his roles in his family. Inmate, convict, jailbird, prisoner....whichever way you want to call it, that was his role in society. An unfortunate incident one drunken night back in1983, where he and his doped up housemate had a stupid argument over an unpaid US$70.00 electricity bill had cost him more than 30 years of his life incarcerated in prison. In the heat of the argument, an accidental move of his finger on the trigger of his shotgun had ended his friend's life right before his eyes. His girlfriend was there to witness the incident and it was her sister who reported it. Steve was in a daze when the police came to take him away. He couldn't believe that his best friend was dead because of him. In court, he was slapped with a First Degree Murder charge and was sentenced to Life, with Parole. 

Recalling the night when I sat with pen in my hand ready to write my first letter to him, I was a bundle of nerves. How do I start my letter? How do I approach an inmate who has had blood in his hands? I have never written to an inmate before, let alone one who had committed murder. It took me quite a while to compose that first line that comes after 'Dear Steve'. I can't remember what I finally wrote but I remember my pen dancing gracefully on three sheets of paper, front and back. I mailed my letter the next day and after three weeks of waiting, I finally got a reply from him. 

When we first started writing, Steve had barricaded himself with a 'fort of shell'. His guard was up and he was very cautious with his words. He was willing to let me get close enough to get to know him, but at the same time, he was also careful not to let me come too close. Instead of explaining his lack of trust, he sent me a copy of 'Understanding An Incarcerated Convict', which was a guideline written by the Department Of Corrections. It was his hope that after reading the guidelines I would understand his behavior better. 

I was grateful that Steve had thought about sending me the guidelines for it made it a lot easier for me to understand his situation better. Using that piece of paper as my guide, I patiently tried my best to earn his trust. I was determined to break him out of his shell. I did my best to make him believe that hope was still alive. At that point of time, he had already been denied parole twice and hope was wearing thin in him. He was ready to quit the game as he had lost all fight in him. He was at a point where he was willing to surrender and settle at being just another 'number' in the system instead of fighting his fight to earn his right as a person with a name and identity again. I couldn't let him do that to himself. So, I began writing pages of letters to him, each filled with words of encouragement, motivation, hope, and concern. I wrote at least four long letters to him each week. That was how determined I was. In less than a year, my effort, dedication and determination started to bear fruits. Steve was 'alive' again.

It's been 17 years since I started my journey with Steve, and it has been an amazing experience for me. The journey has taught me a lot about integrity, trust, friendship and life. Today, Steve is a free man living in the free world.

Everybody deserves a second chance in life no matter what mistakes we have made, big or small. Nobody was born evil or bad. How we turn out or where we end up in life all depends on the choices we make and the roads we choose to take. We may make wrong choices at times which could lead us through some bumpy roads, or we could take a wrong turn that could lead us to a dead end road. But as long as we keep a positive mind and are willing to learn from our mistakes and change our ways, hope is not lost. Somewhere along the way we are bound to bump into someone who would care enough to walk with us. In my journey with Steve, he took a chance in letting me look into his wounded soul, and I took a chance in trusting an incarcerated convict. In that process, a bond was built and a strong friendship was born. This experience was indeed a precious life lesson for me for it has taught me that a little kindness and understanding can really do wonders. I am very thankful for this unexpected experience for it has made me a much better human being.