Category : Stories

Sub Category : Romance

Day three of twenty eighteen - Midnight

He has been heavy on her mind. No matter what she tried to shake him off, he's still there, as if his feet are deeply rooted to the bed of her brain. He refuses to budge. She, on the other hand, is feeling out of sorts.

"Why is he doing this to me?" she asked herself over and over again.

She knew that trying to ignore her thoughts would be futile. He was stubborn, determined to stay in her head. But she can't go on like this. Like it or not, she had to face this situation head on. She had to sort out her brain. She had to think.

She grabbed a can of Coke from her mini bar, grabbed her cigarettes and lighter and went outside to sit on her balcony. Inside her room, James Ingram's 'Forever More' was playing on her stereo. She looked up into the sky, the moon was shining bright. Perfect.

Her thoughts were a scramble. "A man to end the loneliness, someone to fill the emptiness of her existence with all the richness of those feelings for which the human spirit was created."

"That is justification, right...?" she asked herself.

Her thoughts then went to the past relationships she had before him. "When the colour goes out of a woman's life and the romance shrivels, she hungers to be important to someone again. Hungry, she dreams."

"That is understandable and acceptable, right...?" Again, more questions for herself.

She began to think about how they met, about who he had been and continues to be with her. When he came along and pays attention to her, feeling that hunger; she believes. Because she wants to believe, because she wants her dream to be real. She refuses to consider that his only desire may be to take advantage of her, that to him it is a cheap thing. Because that would destroy her dream.

"Have I been fooling myself...?"

She was feeling unsure now but still, she tried to still her mind by providing some kind of defense for him. "There are a lot of men who prey on such women but he's not one of them. Those men are chameleons, changing colour to be what the woman dreams. Ultimately, the delusion on both sides becomes the only thing that is real."

Her thoughts are in a complete mess. What she had set out to do, to put things into perspective, somehow it feels like that's not working. Frustrated, she lit up another cigarette, took a long drag, letting the smoke fill up her lungs and then very slowly exhales. Feeling a teeny bit better, she tackled her thoughts again.

"It is human nature to have needs and to feel needed, to love and to be loved. He is no exception, and I am no exception." Okay, so far so good.

"I admit, I am a dreamer. But when it comes to him, I don't dream of white picket fences, a knight in shining armour, or even a happily ever after, because I dream with my eyes wide open. I recognize the hunger for what it really is. Do I believe that my dream is real? Yes. Coz he knows what I want and I know what he needs."

"He may be a chameleon after all, but it takes another chameleon to recognize the changing colour and I am a chameleon too. A fact which he's aware of. The delusion on both sides becomes real because it's the game that we both play, not so much with each other but more with others."

"Fact is, you can't outwit fate by trying to stand on the sidelines and place little side bets about the outcomes of life. Either you wade in and risk everything to play the game, or you don't play at all. And if you don't play, you can't win."

Right from day one they have kept things transparent between them. She knew his deal, he knew hers. Yet, their paths crossed. Unplanned. Unexpectedly. He said that he believed they were meant to meet. A twist of fate? Or an outcome of life?

She had been warned numerous times about getting too close. But the warnings that came were not substantial enough. They sounded more like petty jealousy. And that only intrigued her more. She had to know for sure. And so, she waded in to test the water. It was a gamble. She knew the stakes were high but she decided to play anyway. After all, there is such thing as 'Lady Luck'.

(Story to be continued)