Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

It's a brand new year and of course, sitting on the brink of another pristine, untainted year, I find myself thinking of how I will improve myself and my life. Here are my New Years resolutions.

1.   Give my resolutions a real fighting chance. I will strive to work on them continuously throughout the year.

2.   Love thy neighbor. I will consider ignoring the restraining order and promise to release my neighbor's cat, whom I keep in the spare bedroom and call "Monty". 

3.   I will lose 75 pounds. I will find 78 pounds again by February. 

4.   I will give my resolutions a fighting chance at least until September. 

5.   I will call Mom every Saturday morning, if the prison will allow it.

6.   I will travel, no matter how far or expensive, to a place I've never visited before. Maybe the dentist.

7.   I will learn to pick up after myself and try to improve myself through education and self promotion. Maybe my wife might come back. 

8.   I will give my resolutions a fighting chance at least until April. 

9.   I want to start a garden. Grow some canned peaches maybe. I love canned peaches. 

10. If I promise to write more, will it count if it's filling out a crossword puzzle in the newspaper? 

11.  I promise to do some weight training. Bench pressing a pizza doesn't count.  

12.  I wont make idle promises to improve myself. Nobody listens to me, why should I?