Category : Books-Non-Fiction

Sub Category : Biography

She was often overlooked. Unappreciated and unloved because she was born the 'wrong gender'. Her mother wanted a boy but she came out a girl so she was raised as a boy and was expected to act and behave as one. She complied; just so she would be loved. She tried to be the little boy her mother wanted but everyone saw her for who she really is - a little girl. To show her that she's a girl and not a boy, her own brother molested her sexually and then laughed at her face when she couldn't fight him off. His sick way of putting her in her place, so to speak. A sad tragedy that had her traumatized. When she told her mother about it, instead of being sympathetic and outraged, her mother dismissed it and called her a liar. How sad and sick is that?

She fled home as soon as she found the courage to get away. With what little money she had with her, she went off into the world to find a place where she could belong, a place she could call home. But she had lived a sheltered life, being told lies after lies by the people who were supposed to be protecting her. She was lost and she was very confused. All she wanted was some peace of mind, some direction in life and she was desperate to find herself. And so, she kept searching.

She met many people along the way, people who pretended to take pity on her but ended up using and abusing her. They took her into their life and showed her a way to 'forget' and ways to drown her sorrows. They convinced her it was okay to live that way and they made a case that sounded so convincing that she ate it all up. Against her better judgment, she started living the life her 'friends' had introduced her to. She was hooked and has been living that life ever since.

Today, she has reached a point in her life where she is beginning to see things with a lot more clarity. Living in a trailer in the middle of nowhere with only her dog for company, she has had time to really dig deep and reflect. She's had time to see the family she was born into for who they really are. She doesn't want to be a part of that anymore. She's had time to think of the only love she's ever found and grieved over the way that love was taken away from her by the force of nature. Yet, that love inside of her still grows. Death wasn't going to stop that. She's had time recognize the two special gifts she had been given - her daughter and her son; both of which had also been taken away from her due to her poor choices. She is a mother. She may not have been the one to raise her babies, but still, she is a mother.

A lot of people know of her struggles and pain in dealing with extreme depression and suicidal, but instead of seeing them as what they really are, they choose to see them the way they want to see them - in their own view. They have been telling her all sorts of things; not really with the intention to help her but more so because they want to hear themselves talk. And she? She's as lost and confused as ever.

Communication; there is an art to it. Sadly, it is something that is often overlooked. How to talk? How to get someone to listen? How to get someone to open up? There is an art to that. It all boils down to one simple thing - approach. Talking and approach are two different things. Everybody talk, but not many approach. I did not talk to her. I approached her. I reached out and peeled her layer upon layer till I got to the core and root of the problem. I spent years doing that with her to the point that whenever she gets suicidal thoughts, she would actually literally hear my voice ring in her ear telling her not to kill herself. I've been on this journey with her for twelve years now. She called me the other day and told me she is ready to start a new chapter in her life. A life free of toxic people, a life free of drugs. She knows the road ahead is still a hard climb but she is determined to give it a shot. Will she succeed? Will she fall short? We'll just have to wait and see. One thing's for sure, she knows she wouldn't have to do it alone for she knows she can count on me to hold her hand and guide her way.