Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

I’m 15 again. Because 15 was before I gave up on myself. It was a hard time for me but I still had light shining through me. I still wore a smile daily and at the time it was only depression starting to consume me. If I could talk to 15 year old me I would tell her to avoid that boy that stole alI of her identity. I would tell her that if she dare go down that path again she will lose herself in a string of boys not allowing time to herself. I would tell 15 year old me that grades are more important than pissing off mom, and catching the bus is not optional for us. I would tell her to slow down and stick it out in school... because you look so dumb trying to be cool. I would tell her that every hit of that cigarette she takes will affect all of her by the time she even turns 21. That girl so young and so angry by the time she hit 16, already forgot who she was and started to daydream. She started smoking spice and can’t remember at least 6 months of her life. She’s spiraling now at 16 and pregnant, theses were never her intentions, a couple months later now and she’s losing the baby. She’s starting to go crazy! I just want to tell her there are so many better paths she could be taking. As she goes on to be 17 she’s leaving that boy behind. She thinks she’s in the arms of another boy she “loves”. She feels so happy and things will be fine cause this boy he’s everything she had in mind. But he’s really not, can’t you see, your just a kid and he’s got nothing to give. She should have taken the time to find herself but instead, 17 year old me hated every one in the family, so I packed my bags and moved in with the man who was meant to be. I didn’t see it then, but I see it now and I wish I could tell her to turn around. He will be your biggest mistake with nothing left, but a beautiful girl that he put at stake. He took your sanity and locked you up like a beast. At age 18 you got pregnant with your daughter. She was born a month before turning 19. Now all of a sudden, that perfect man began lying and cheating, he wanted nothing to do with your baby. You tried to stick it out, but at 20 you lost your second child and I think the rest of yourself. That is until your lifelong friend was killed right after your 21st birthday and you blamed him for all your lost moments. It was then that you knew that his presence was poisonous. You don’t even recognize that girl in the mirror any more, sometimes now at 21 I look at her and ask how did we let all this happen?